(May 14, 2012 at 11:07 am)FallentoReason Wrote: I'll give you two ways that I find are useful to reach people:
[...]
2) Develop the ability to understand their point.
It's only after they have realised that they got 'through to you' that the discussion can really gain momentum. This also allows you to give an argument that directly deals with their points.
I'd like to add a little something to this. If you cannot understand their point, and the means by which they got there, unless you happen to get lucky, you're going to be unable to speak to them in terms that will work for them.
Trying a reasoned, logical argument with someone who is not versed in and doesn't value logic will not likely succeed. Likewise, attempting an appeal to emotion isn't going to get far with someone who values reason over feeling.
People approach situations using different methods, have different points of view. A person's worldview and strategies for dealing with reality is going to be a product of the sum of their environment, experience, education, values, etc.
I personally have started to appreciate that if I am unable to make my case at least understood to a point where another can actually speak to what I think rather than what he thinks I think, it is at least partially my fault for failing to understand how I can reach them. In some cases, it's been a result of my preconceptions getting in the way.
That's not to say that there aren't those who just won't listen. I find many people aren't like that if you take an earnest effort to try to understand them - even if you disagree.
