All I can tell you is what I'd do.
They're friends, not children - I'd live the way I want to. Friendships go both ways. If you're having to worrying about whether your beliefs are going to cause someone to go off the deep end, that, to me, isn't fair. It's unfortunate they've had bad lives, but so have a lot of people, atheists included. There's counselling and techniques available if your revelation shocks them so. I think you do them a disservice by assuming they're not able cope with some false hope. But I'm no expert, so maybe your assessment is right.
And this doesn't mean I'm advocating a cold, "you're on your own approach" - after all, if they do become atheists, you're there for them, right? Grief passes, and their belief in god will never undo the tragedies of their past. The fastest road to health, in my opinion, is to know your weaknesses, to know what's true, to know what's working and what isn't.
Personally, I think you're over-estimating the chances of them becoming atheists any time soon. People's deconversions take a long time, usually beginning imperceptibly. I think the youtuber 'Evid3nc3' got it right when he said we often assume the final piece in our personal puzzle, that one moment where everything 'clicked' for us, is the silver bullet which destroys (or heavily wounds, at least) faith. We forget the myriad of experiences and reasons, sometimes non-rational, that lead up to that moment. I can understand they'll have questions for you, but would it really be necessary for you to lay out your entire path of deconversion?
The mental damage and irreparable scarring has already been done in their pasts. False beliefs won't change that. While I do think you should use tact, I don't think you should feel guilty about being who you are. That's bullshit. You're their friend, and you're there to help them if they need it. You're not there to be someone else to make them feel better. Unless they're terminally ill they'll have time to get over things. Once again, they're not infants.
They're friends, not children - I'd live the way I want to. Friendships go both ways. If you're having to worrying about whether your beliefs are going to cause someone to go off the deep end, that, to me, isn't fair. It's unfortunate they've had bad lives, but so have a lot of people, atheists included. There's counselling and techniques available if your revelation shocks them so. I think you do them a disservice by assuming they're not able cope with some false hope. But I'm no expert, so maybe your assessment is right.
And this doesn't mean I'm advocating a cold, "you're on your own approach" - after all, if they do become atheists, you're there for them, right? Grief passes, and their belief in god will never undo the tragedies of their past. The fastest road to health, in my opinion, is to know your weaknesses, to know what's true, to know what's working and what isn't.
Personally, I think you're over-estimating the chances of them becoming atheists any time soon. People's deconversions take a long time, usually beginning imperceptibly. I think the youtuber 'Evid3nc3' got it right when he said we often assume the final piece in our personal puzzle, that one moment where everything 'clicked' for us, is the silver bullet which destroys (or heavily wounds, at least) faith. We forget the myriad of experiences and reasons, sometimes non-rational, that lead up to that moment. I can understand they'll have questions for you, but would it really be necessary for you to lay out your entire path of deconversion?
(June 17, 2012 at 5:55 am)FallentoReason Wrote: Regardless of whether Christianity is true or not, taking this away from them would do some brutal mental damage and irreparable scarring which I would be responsible for.
The mental damage and irreparable scarring has already been done in their pasts. False beliefs won't change that. While I do think you should use tact, I don't think you should feel guilty about being who you are. That's bullshit. You're their friend, and you're there to help them if they need it. You're not there to be someone else to make them feel better. Unless they're terminally ill they'll have time to get over things. Once again, they're not infants.
