This makes me want to write purposely bad erotica.

[Rev. Rye]

Really, if you want purposely bad erotica, look at Comicsnix's work on Fanfiction.net (Note: NSFW).

Here's the first paragraph of his Scooby Doo story.

That was a cloud and stromy nigth. The Scooby Doo's Mysteris Inc Car was moving at slow sped, because there where bananas in the street. Rain was pouring down knifes of water in shape of diamonds, because that land was new to then. Yes, it was Kinston City, in Jamaca Island, the earth of Bob Marley and Stevie Wonder.
They where there in a trip of hollyday. The Mystery Inc Got plnty of money latery because of recent Voodo attacks in New Jersey. So, with money, they gott to Jamaics.
This day in particular is special. It's the Mardi Glass carnival in Kingston, so our heeroes are going there to party and see clevarges of woman. Scooyb is specially happy, 'cause he now is in other country, so he can abuses other woman without being arrest.
Fred was drivinh the van, Daphne was at his right side and Velma at Daphn's side. Scoorbu and Shoggy where in the back of the Van.
"Hey Scoob, do you wanna Scooyb Snarks?" Asks Shaggy, in the moving Van, to the big Deustch dog name Scooy Do.
"Yadda yadda do I want it old pal!" answers felicity the dog with shaking rabies in his butt.
"Here, eat it all boobies shaker, you deserve it!" and Shagy throws the knacks to Scooby mouth, bacause it's a reward for eating evil voodo priest in 'ol Jersey.

and a particularly hilarious excerpt from his Fairly OddParents fanfic:

Being the sexual toy of a horny uninteligent boy is something a flower can't afford in her untouched and sanitized life. What would the roses would say? Those bitches. Roses know how to please a man, they like every moment of their pityful whoresome lives. But a petunia have a reputatuion. No one should be forced to cope with the society ideals of pleasure and entertainment. As Karl Marx said: "Every flower is a plant." Yes Karl, we all agree with you.
But Timmy din't knew Karl Mark, he only read Plato's Republic. "Timocracy is the way an honoured society should be ruled. Plants and flowers are not free from this rule. Only mangos, they are anarchists and must be destroyed." Damn mangoes. Those fibers never fooled me.