Maybe I never was a Christian?

[Mystic]

That people can change their minds is hugely problematic for many sects in that they preach they have some special relationship with an unchanging entity. They have to explain why that entity might withdraw from the individual. The individual they might say has done some great wrong, which drove the entity away, but it is all too apparent in many cases of de-conversion this is not the case. So they are forced to take up the position that the individual was never in contact with the entity in the first place.

These are the normal anomalies that are thrown up when the foundation of a way of thinking is build on axioms that are foolish.

In Shiite Muslim sacred prayers, it said "O Near one whom doesn't distance himself from those whom distance themselves from him".

And to be honest, it feels like to me those running away from him (atheists) have God's closeness to them the most, because they tend to in my opinion have the best ethics, even those denying morality being objective (which is ironic).

When you love, you when you care, when your passionate about an moral issue, when you want to make others happy and smile, that is God there being with you.

Believing him not, doesn't mean you are far away from him or against him.

People measure closeness to God by how much you devote yourself to him, but I think we see some very hateful people that are devoted to God.

Maybe it's not about how much we devote ourselves to that which is higher up but how much we treat our (relatively) equals and how much we act upon love and compassion that shows how close we are to god.