WTF Atheists!?

[Fryslân]

[...]
It is good you found something to help you cope, but I assume you've also had discussions with your healthcare professional about other things that could help? I'm not against using drugs sensibly to aid things, especially medically.

We'll, you've explained that very clearly. Thanks for that. If you don't mind me asking, I don;t like being tied up, but my girlfriend does. I don't mind tying knots and doing all the other work, but have you got any tips and tops? Maybe send me a private message if you do not want the world to read it.

Response to your question:
Yes, they have tought me otherways to deal with things, and I do but not like they tought me. But there is nothing like losing your mind in what seems "another world". I've actually learnt a lot about myself useing mdma believe it or not. I discovered one of the most important things in getting by in day by day life. I never knew how much impact I had on people with my behavior untill I used mdma. My behavior was so radically blissful, people responded to this in the same way. Now this sounds logical ofcourse, but not to me at the time. Even when sober I tried to retain my behavior like I did then and discovered only then that even putting a smile on my face and listening to people (how boring it might get) actually works better than closing myself of to most by being dominant. I've proven to myself it actually works since I only use to have one night stands and am going steady for 2 and a half years now. Love at first fo rme, was not possible since I was self destructive and enjoyed being like that. I liked the excitement of breaking with girls, I liked drinking and fighting, deal drugs when I could, steal and break in to shops to buy more for crap for the blackhole inside me. I'm enjoying life more going through it like a filthy hippy than a frustrated dick.

I don't realy care about much anymore. I'm even considering changing my job. Truth be told, I fucking hate working. They never tought me in school to go for the things your good at. Now, i'm just a silly youthworker helping kids with problems like I use to have. But there is nothing anyone can do fo them since this world won't change a thing. I can only encourage them to do what they like and are good at. But the "system" will not let them develop these skills because they are not important enough and the world won't make any money of them that way.

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Oh I'm totally serious. Unhappiness isn't happiness but unhappiness can cause happiness. I like annoying myself but I don't really do it deliberately, it just sort of happens. It's a habit. It's me. It's what I'm like. I have annoying thoughts. They annoy me... and I love it. And hate it.

Ok. All I can say is, I hope your happy and sad enough to pull through.