Uganda passing law that allows them to put homosexuals to death.

[Kirbmarc]

They have an identity problem. They identify themselves via their sexuality.

This is a sweeping generalization. Most gay people don't "identify via their sexuality". It's society that pigeonholes them in a marginalized role because, let's face it, a large part of society expects them to fall into some sort of stereotype.

Gay people are still oppressed and shunned, in one way or another, in almost any country in the world. They react to rejection from society by trying to get accepted, but the only role that even most progressive societies gives them is to identify as members of a minority.

. I've explained to her that I have an equal problem with de-facto relationships that are heterosexual - she doesn't care. I've asked why it's so important to her what I think, especially as it doesn't mean we can't be friends and I'm not interested in belittling or otherwise causing her any problems.

What you think is important because you are passing a moral judgement. You are claiming that your life choice is morally superior to hers. Friends accept each other as persons, even if they don't agree about their tastes or choices. Long story short, yes, you are belittling her, even if you claim you aren't.

She has every reason to be angry at you.

I've pointed out to her that at least I don't bullshit and try and hide
my views.

Sincerity is important, but is not an excuse. The KKK doesn't hide its views either.

Being attracted is a part of who she is, granted, but it isn't that which defines her as a person.

Then why are you judging her? Why do you have "a problem" with a life choice that doesn't involve you?

She may well have been born with same-sex sexuality, neither I nor anyone else can tell her she wasn't. If she isn't Christian then of course she's going to "live in sin" like the rest of the world does, but it doesn't mean that we should be uncompassionate.

People don't need pity or compassion, they need acceptance. You have a patronizing attitude towards your friend. I don't doubt that you have good intentions, but you come across as judgemental and arrogant.

But as we have a greater confidence, self-image, self-worth, we can rely more on what makes us special to others and to God, and less on trivial things we thought were utterly important.

With your patronizing attitude you are definitely not helping your friend to feel better about herself.

Why can't you just accept that people have different sexual attitudes and sexual preferences? Your lifestyle choice should be something personal, not a way to classify people according to how well they conform to your standards.

Would you be friends with someone who says that your sexual morality is wrong and you need to change (even though you aren't hurting anyone)? I don't think so, even if this person claimed that they don't aim to belittle you or cause you any problems.

If you are heterosexual and don't want to have a sexual relationship before you marry, that's perfectly fine. But you can't expect people who have different views on sex to behave like you do, or to accept your patronizing and groundless moral judgement.