Once upon a time, in a world abandoned by god, I got up in the morning and took a piss, and like each piss in the morning, it was a moment of relief which gave the day a even better start than any coffee could ever do. The pooping however was impossible, because an empty bottle was stuck. It's ok because the bottle in my ass gives me the super human ability to reason with fundamentalists (on Wednesdays). At least, that's what I told the doctor.
Nemo me impune lacessit.