Sorry I haven't read the whole thread yet and apologies in advance if I repeat what another has said.
It's important for the single man to remember that women, at least the ones looking for a male partner, are wired to seek one that will be a strong protector-provider. Even though we are living in a more civilized time when saber-tooth tigers aren't lurking around the corner, we're still biologically wired for the same modes of survival. Sad to say for nice-guys is that overly needy or accommodating behavior may be a signal that you're not what they're looking for. The thinking, subconscious as it may be, is that if you let her push you around, you may not stand up to more serious threats.
The good news for nice guys is it's not necessary for you to completely reinvent yourself as a jerk to get female companionship. The key is walking a more fine line, mixing a bit of assertiveness with your good nature. You may also try to occasionally prick a sensitive spot with her to show you're not willing to tip toe around her feelings too much. Don't attack her personally but something she may value. For example, I remember on one date a woman I was with was talking about male actors she admired and I retorted mockingly how they each couldn't act their way out of a paper bag. Next thing I knew, she was on top of me, pinning me down and playing tonsil hockey.
Assertive, not aggressive, wins the race from my personal experience.
Each woman is different, of course, so your millage may vary. I've observed there are some women who just have lousy taste in men. Whether it is because of self-esteem issues or because they confuse jerky behavior with strength, I don't know. My advice is not to find out but just keep walking, turning a blind eye and deaf ear to them. That may sound cruel but you can't help them or rescue them. They have to someday do it for themselves.
You may want to work on yourself as well. If you need a relationship too badly, ironically enough you may not be ready for one. Going in with what you have to offer rather than what you need is a sign your ready for a relationship. Get to a point where you're fine by yourself and you'll be in a better condition to resume your hunt and more likely to succeed.
Hope that helps.
It's important for the single man to remember that women, at least the ones looking for a male partner, are wired to seek one that will be a strong protector-provider. Even though we are living in a more civilized time when saber-tooth tigers aren't lurking around the corner, we're still biologically wired for the same modes of survival. Sad to say for nice-guys is that overly needy or accommodating behavior may be a signal that you're not what they're looking for. The thinking, subconscious as it may be, is that if you let her push you around, you may not stand up to more serious threats.
The good news for nice guys is it's not necessary for you to completely reinvent yourself as a jerk to get female companionship. The key is walking a more fine line, mixing a bit of assertiveness with your good nature. You may also try to occasionally prick a sensitive spot with her to show you're not willing to tip toe around her feelings too much. Don't attack her personally but something she may value. For example, I remember on one date a woman I was with was talking about male actors she admired and I retorted mockingly how they each couldn't act their way out of a paper bag. Next thing I knew, she was on top of me, pinning me down and playing tonsil hockey.
Assertive, not aggressive, wins the race from my personal experience.
Each woman is different, of course, so your millage may vary. I've observed there are some women who just have lousy taste in men. Whether it is because of self-esteem issues or because they confuse jerky behavior with strength, I don't know. My advice is not to find out but just keep walking, turning a blind eye and deaf ear to them. That may sound cruel but you can't help them or rescue them. They have to someday do it for themselves.
You may want to work on yourself as well. If you need a relationship too badly, ironically enough you may not be ready for one. Going in with what you have to offer rather than what you need is a sign your ready for a relationship. Get to a point where you're fine by yourself and you'll be in a better condition to resume your hunt and more likely to succeed.
Hope that helps.
Atheist Forums Hall of Shame:
"The trinity can be equated to having your cake and eating it too."
... -Lucent, trying to defend the Trinity concept
"(Yahweh's) actions are good because (Yahweh) is the ultimate standard of goodness. That’s not begging the question"
... -Statler Waldorf, Christian apologist
"The trinity can be equated to having your cake and eating it too."
... -Lucent, trying to defend the Trinity concept
"(Yahweh's) actions are good because (Yahweh) is the ultimate standard of goodness. That’s not begging the question"
... -Statler Waldorf, Christian apologist
