This is probably the most moving post I have ever read. I have huge respect for you, Boxxy, and for the harrowing journey you have made all on your own. 
There are many, many wise heads here to whom you can turn and who will listen respectfully. Use us. But from what you wrote, you are pretty strong on your own.
Good luck!

There are many, many wise heads here to whom you can turn and who will listen respectfully. Use us. But from what you wrote, you are pretty strong on your own.
Good luck!
Only sheep need a shepherd.


