Why do feminists have such a bad reputation?

[thesummerqueen]

I believe in women's right to do whatever they please. Women always used to tell me I'm too nice but at the end of the day I'm still labeled as the same as all the other men. Idk. Something is not right there.

What you touch on is a bit more complicated than just feminism or misandry.

Feminists want to solve the problem of women being treated like lesser beings. This treatment can come from men or other women. I have a lot of problems with suggestions put forth by even reasonable feminists because I think they treat some symptoms, but not the causes.

Women have to decide individually what it is they want in a man, what it is that makes them uncomfortable and why. They have to stop worrying about being judged by their peers as well as the rest of society. They have to stop falling into the same generalization trap that men do. If men pull sexist jokes on women, well, women do the same thing. I can't tell you the number of women who told me my boyfriend was gay because he complimented my shoes and has, since day 1, taken an active interest in the contents of my closet or make-up bag. My boyfriend is definitely straight, or if their stereotyping is true, then he's bi. What he *is*, is a photographer with a keen eye for fashion and detail. He has a Don Draper sense of style and he likes his pretty woman dressed up in things that flatter her and show off her prettiness. He snidely told one woman that he wouldn't have noticed my shoes if he hadn't been looking at the legs leading down to them.

But noticing things like this and appreciating women and their 'feminine' clothing somehow makes him gay. Men aren't supposed to be detail oriented - they're supposed to be hulking masses of hormones who want sex all the time and never notice your hair and are more stupid than not. Or so we tell ourselves whilst most CEO's are still male. Don't tell me that all of them don't notice details and got on top solely because they were male. Do you know what this is? It's a divvying up of talents that's bullshit and leads to a lot of job problems.

We don't teach our men to be men - we teach them not to be "female". I'd say the same was true of women.

It's easy for a woman to bitch that she wants a nice man, and then blame the man when he's not what she actually wanted. It doesn't change what you actually are - you're probably not a bad guy or a door mat. You just weren't what she thought she wanted, something she probably didn't even understand herself.