RE: Not coming out, but not hiding it anymore
June 20, 2013 at 3:07 am
(This post was last modified: June 20, 2013 at 3:10 am by Ryantology.)
Ivy Wrote:I'm 28 and I'm a loser because I'm not out yet.
No, you aren't. I didn't come out as bi until I was 29. Well, I suppose that could mean we're both losers, but fuck that.
(June 20, 2013 at 1:54 am)cneron Wrote: I've never entirely understood the need, on principle, for people to "come out." I suppose being open about our differences is healthy, in theory, for ourselves as well as others. Still, sexuality is only part of who are, there's no need to place disproportionate emphasis on it.
In an ideal society, you're right. Our society is just now beginning to emerge from institutional homophobia, and there are still plenty of people in our own countries who think that a person's sexual orientation is a fair criteria to deny them equal rights (and for some more extreme, the right to breathe). Coming out is essential for one very important reason: the only way you can ever really hope to cure a homophobe is not with logic, reason, or emotional pleas. When you have homophobic parents or relatives, being in any way openly honest about your sexuality is a legitimate danger, but I know from experience (on both sides of the fence, too) that even the most bitter fagbasher is often willing to open their minds when the gays are no longer strangers easy to demonize.
I want to live in a society where who you fuck doesn't matter, unless they're a kid or don't consent. But, since we don't live in that society yet, we have to help make it, and coming out is one of the best ways.
btw: it's awesome having a wife who is actually open to letting me enjoy my bisexual side in controlled circumstances, though I have yet to take her up on the offer. Contrary to some people's opinions, not being exclusively heterosexual does not automatically make one promiscuous (and as a corollary, my sexual orientation has never made me want to fuck a kid).
