Response to a sneeze?

[Angrboda]

And what do you say when someone pukes?

"Not on the rug! NOT ON THE RUG!"

One year when I was a kid in junior high school, my sisters, mom, and I drove the 200 miles to visit my brother and sister-in-law in Minneapolis. One of my sisters who had a boy she was sweet on invited him along. This was a few weeks after Thanksgiving, and my sister-in-law had gotten a good deal on a big turkey, so we had a nice post-Thanksgiving dinner, me, my family, and my older sister's sweetum. Of course, there was a reason the turkey was on sale... but we didn't know that yet. We finished and headed back the 200 miles to Duluth, and drove up the hill to drop off Bruce and head home. My mother, who was driving, was curiously silent and still. She watched Bruce wander up the walkway and disappear behind the stained glass window of his front door. The second the door snapped shut, my mother relaxed, and turbo-puked all over the inside of the front windshield. I was grateful for once not to be privileged with riding shotgun. Long story short, we made our way home, and everybody was gloriously sick with a bout of food poisoning the rest of the evening. Everybody except me, that is. For some reason, I was curiously fine. I woke up the next morning and wandered downstairs and plopped down on the end of the couch to watch TV. Suddenly, my whole world turned that sickly yellow color, and I knew I was going to puke, big time. I knew I couldn't make it all the way up the stairs to the bathroom, so the next best thing, we had already put our Christmas tree up, and draped around it was a white sheet, and on top of that were the presents. I figured the sheet was my best option, so I launched to my feet and started lurching towards the Christmas tree. Out of nowhere my sister appears, and, seeing that I was going to puke, starts running interference to prevent me from reaching the tree, waving her arms about wildly and imploring me, "Not on the presents! Not on the presents!" I don't even remember what happened next, but one way or another, I'm sure it was glorious.