(July 8, 2013 at 9:21 am)BadWriterSparty Wrote: One of my more recent (and more-or-less ongoing) conversations with my spouse is how to raise my daughter and any future children we have. We agree on a number of things, such as education, morality, family values, discipline, and much more.
Still, there are some things that we don't always see eye-to-eye on. My wife is agnostic, leaning more towards spiritualism, whilst I am pretty much a full atheism, unable to fathom the idea that there is a supernatural anything. (What can I say? I'm a sucker for the laws of physics.)
One of my fears is that any one of my children might decide to have a belief in a higher power. I understand that this could be inevitable, considering that the rest of our family and friends are more or less religious (we have a number of Mormons and Roman Catholics to boot). All I care is that he or she grows up with an understanding of reason and that it's important to strive for truth, as well as knowing when to say, "I don't know enough, and that's okay for now".
My wife agrees with that to a point, but she's worried that I may force-feed atheism down my children's throats. This worry is not unwarranted, as I have a knack for being outspoken about my unbelief. The other worry is that my children might rebel against my determinations the same way a child would rebel against a parent's religious beliefs.
Does anyone have any insight on how to lead a child to deciding on his or her own about how to keep an open mind and use reason in answering these hard questions? I see more articles/writings/blogs out there concerned with keeping children in the faith while maintaining an atmosphere of love, as opposed to keeping children out of faith.
Also, one thing my spouse suggested was to have our children attend other churches at some point when they're searching. Well, I'm sure some of you can imagine the big red flag that went up in my head as I heard this. How do I keep this from happening too, or should I not worry about this so much?
Like others here, I can only speak from my personal experiences as a child.
Firstly, I'd say the most important thing is to teach them critical thinking. Don't try to focus their questions on religion. Answer whatever questions they have even if the answers are likely to go way above their heads. If they ask what things are made of - tell them about nuclear physics. If they ask where we come from, teach them about human reproductive system. They'd fail to understand most of it, but whatever little does get through would instill the right attitude about asking questions and seeking knowledge.
Secondly, and as it cannot be stressed enough, let them read. If science and history is not their thing, let them read stories. Don't try to keep them away from religious stories - let them read that as well. As a child, mythological stories were my favorite (some of them still are) and I used to believe wholeheartedly that they were true. Which is why the first thing I did when I started learning actual history, was to see where these stories fit in the actual timeline of the world. And when I understood that while we can map out our history in great detail and still have no place for them, I realized that they never actually happened.
Thirdly, and this may not seem directly relevant, let them build their self-esteem and be self-reliant. When people turn to religion as teenagers or adults it is not because they find religious beliefs to be compelling or true, its because they find themselves in religious company. A person with low self-esteem, someone who needs constant approval and appreciation from others, would be an easy target for anyone willing to give him that in exchange for espousing certain beliefs. Teaching them that asking questions is alright and instilling a desire for knowledge in them is a good way to do that.
