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There is a god afterall
#22
RE: There is a god afterall
More from the Bull:

When greeting a fellow follower of the Bull you should greet them with:

"The Bull is with me."

To which the correct response is:

"And with me."

When in discourse with followers of other religions you should always be respectful but affirm politely that "I am with the Bull."

Only if people are interested should you tell them of your faith. Do not force you faith on others - this is not your role.

Where you have talked with others and they persist with their original belief, as you part company, you should make a circle with your forefinger and thumb of your left hand and rest it upon your forehead. Then bring the hand gently down and forwards so that it describes an arc saying the words:

"May the penis of the bull reside within you in the future."

It is not for you to punish, cajole or otherwise tease followers of other faiths, particularly of the monotheistic religions as they have enough problems already. Wish them well with the traditional parting words (above).

When you eat the meat of the Bull (or cow) the bull is inside you. This is the less painful way of achieving this.

Udders and Breasts are sacred organs - you should respect them. Nuzzling (the traditional act of respect) is encouraged more for breasts than for udders but in either case you shall always gain the permission of the owner or wearer where these are separate (as in not completed the payments for them yet).

For female followers of the bull who do not wish to nuzzle breasts or udders the testicles are an acceptable alternative. This also applies to male followers who prefer it.

Other than that just remember the Bull is a hands off kind of deity. Do as you will whilst following the rules. If you do this you should not fear hell (Justin Bieber's hits on a loop for all eternity, with Wednesdays off) when you die - the worst general punishment for normal people is to have to stand on one leg in the corner of the room wearing brushed nylon pyjamas for 11 minutes whilst others attempt to shock you with static electricity.
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Messages In This Thread
There is a god afterall - by max-greece - September 27, 2013 at 2:54 am
RE: There is a god afterall - by Captain Colostomy - September 27, 2013 at 3:03 am
RE: There is a god afterall - by max-greece - September 27, 2013 at 3:05 am
RE: There is a god afterall - by Heir Apparent - September 27, 2013 at 3:09 am
RE: There is a god afterall - by Kayenneh - September 27, 2013 at 6:01 am
RE: There is a god afterall - by genkaus - September 27, 2013 at 6:13 am
RE: There is a god afterall - by max-greece - September 27, 2013 at 6:39 am
RE: There is a god afterall - by MindForgedManacle - September 27, 2013 at 9:51 am
RE: There is a god afterall - by Tonus - September 27, 2013 at 6:15 am
RE: There is a god afterall - by FMC - September 27, 2013 at 6:28 am
RE: There is a god afterall - by Captain Colostomy - September 27, 2013 at 6:35 am
RE: There is a god afterall - by Kayenneh - September 27, 2013 at 7:03 am
RE: There is a god afterall - by max-greece - September 27, 2013 at 8:16 am
RE: There is a god afterall - by Doubting Thomas - September 27, 2013 at 8:31 am
RE: There is a god afterall - by max-greece - September 27, 2013 at 8:48 am
RE: There is a god afterall - by pocaracas - September 27, 2013 at 9:02 am
RE: There is a god afterall - by Whateverist - September 27, 2013 at 10:47 am
RE: There is a god afterall - by pocaracas - September 27, 2013 at 10:50 am
RE: There is a god afterall - by c172 - September 27, 2013 at 9:15 am
RE: There is a god afterall - by Doubting Thomas - September 27, 2013 at 10:20 am
RE: There is a god afterall - by Whateverist - September 27, 2013 at 10:53 am
RE: There is a god afterall - by max-greece - September 27, 2013 at 11:22 am
RE: There is a god afterall - by Minimalist - September 27, 2013 at 11:29 am
RE: There is a god afterall - by freedomfromforum - September 27, 2013 at 4:54 pm
RE: There is a god afterall - by pocaracas - September 27, 2013 at 5:33 pm
RE: There is a god afterall - by max-greece - September 27, 2013 at 5:35 pm
RE: There is a god afterall - by Ryantology - September 27, 2013 at 5:38 pm
RE: There is a god afterall - by max-greece - September 27, 2013 at 5:53 pm
RE: There is a god afterall - by Ryantology - September 27, 2013 at 6:13 pm
RE: There is a god afterall - by Beta Ray Bill - September 27, 2013 at 6:25 pm
RE: There is a god afterall - by pocaracas - September 27, 2013 at 6:28 pm
RE: There is a god afterall - by max-greece - September 29, 2013 at 3:25 am
RE: There is a god afterall - by pocaracas - September 27, 2013 at 5:56 pm
RE: There is a god afterall - by Walking Void - September 30, 2013 at 11:28 am
RE: There is a god afterall - by Monolens - September 30, 2013 at 1:53 pm
RE: There is a god afterall - by max-greece - September 30, 2013 at 2:45 pm
RE: There is a god afterall - by Lemonvariable72 - September 30, 2013 at 3:26 pm
RE: There is a god afterall - by max-greece - September 30, 2013 at 3:31 pm
RE: There is a god afterall - by Doubting Thomas - September 30, 2013 at 3:36 pm
RE: There is a god afterall - by max-greece - September 30, 2013 at 3:39 pm

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