Privacy concerns from [split] AF Hall of Shame (Post Edition)

[Rayaan]

I'd expect more from a mod. Jacob didn't do anything wrong, and you call his highly legitimate concerns 'whining'. This entire situation is bullshit. Rayaan's conduct has been inappropriate. If that's what satisfies as an apology nowadays, well then Jacob has every right to leave and it isn't his fault at all. Its your job to ensure the comfortability of all members, religious or not, and really that's all the guy wants. To not be online stalked for no reason whatsoever. He just wants Rayaan to say, yeah I went too far, it wont happen again. Honestly, I can't imagine why this is so difficult and I'm a little disconcerted with how the other mods seem to be silent on the issue, or victim blaming. God forbid I have any issue with one of you, I'll just get told to stop whining and not let the door hit me on the way out, apparently.

I've already sent him an earnest apology, which you guys haven't read anything of.

I even explained in great detail why searched him and how, but I've edited out those parts because its too long and it would be sot of tedious for members to read all that stuff.

This was one of my PMs to Jacob:

Jacob,

I considerately thought about what I said about you in the Hall of Shame thread. And I discussed this recent incident with the other staff members. I was thinking about this tonight also. So, now I'm going to tell you exactly why I wanted to search you, and how I did that.

But, before I go on to explain that, I just want to tell you that I do not feel that I am perfectly justified in what I did anymore. I honestly feel a little bad about the whole thing now. The way that I raised the issue and worded my post in that thread (especially when I said "I know who you are") conveys a level of personal implication much greater than I initially thought it would. It gave the impression as if know a lot about you, which I understand came across rather showy and derisive. So, then you challenged me to go on an impress you. After I did that, you then disclosed all the PM details to the general members and then created a huge commotion about this, which I didn't like. But again, as I admitted, my first response in that thread was inappropriate, and I apologize for that.

I will try not to make this mistake again, and I won't expose anything about you in this forum which you posted elsewhere unless it becomes necessary. So, I hope that you don't feel creeped out by this anymore. And I hope that you're still able to have fun in this place as you were having before. You really don't have to get so upset and leave this forum just because of this incident. It was only my mistake. I hope that you stay with us, but again, no pressure Jacob. It's all up to you.



[Snipped because of a lengthy explanation of the how and why I looked him up outside the forum.]



To be honest, I enjoyed the debates we've had so far, even though I've expressed my suspicions of your beliefs and your motivations several times in this forum. I called you things like disingenuous, hypocrite, double-speaker, munafiq, etc., but you know that those are just my inferences. Even though I said those things, I do realize that I might be wrong about all these claims. There were just my personal evaluation of the things you posted here.

However, perhaps I mistook you for someone who is in his early stages of deconverting, or just having some trouble in letting go with both hands. I hope that you are able to ignore or get over any of the suspicions of mine towards you that you believe is untrue. I still might make criticisms of your posts every now and then (depending on your comments, threads, and all that), but I will try my best to be as gentle as possible, and I will think more carefully before I post something.

I'm sorry for handling this one a little poorly, Jacob. I hope you will understand why I made these choices and how I feel about them now.

- Rayaan

And he replied:

Well that's a kind of apology I suppose

[Snipped other comments]

That's all I'm going to say for now. There is obviously more behind this but I'll save that for later.