Hello, Godless Heathens.
I was born and raised Mormon, coming from a long line of Mormons.
Was mostly against LGBTetc stuff, but in December 2010 met a trans* gal online who forced me to think and critically analyze why I thought the way I did. I eventually came around and became OK with all that.
A few months later, in January 2012, my parents (I was in my mid 20's, living at home at the time) went through the laptop I paid for and discovered I had transsexual friends. They gave me so much shit over it. Moved out a month later and eventually in with other Mormon college aged kids.
Battled depression in the spring...wrote this for an exmormon audience last summer.
Quote:Hi all. I'm a pretty new exmo here. I'm in my mid 20s, grew up in the Church, come from several generations of Mormons, etc.
The judgemental "holier than thou" attitude many Mormons have has always bothered me, as has the odd double standard here and there. I went through the temple about a year and a half ago for my endowments and was dismayed by how women were treated as 2nd class citizens and realized that was the case in more than just in the temple. Though that made me somewhat uneasy, I still remained a "faithful, active, righteous" Mormon, until early this year.
Certain family conflict happened earlier this year (that's actually still ongoing) that made me much more aware how badly LGBTetc folks were/are treated by the LDS church) , and after attempting unsuccessfully to resolve it on my own, went to Church leaders who didn't take me seriously. Throughout the course of this...situation, I have tried to stay in touch and seek help from various ward members...again unsuccessful for the most part. The people who have stuck with me through all these hard times are nearly all LGBT, who the church (and my family) actively poohs on. Supportive LGBT people vs. unresponsive Mormons? I think I'll go with supportive LGBT people, thank you much.
Vaguely related to the LGBTetc issue, I also am not a huge fan of how people who don't fit into the "get married young and start popping out babies" model are treated.
It's only been in the last few weeks that I've I solidified my decision to identify myself as exmo. With the exception of one trans* friend, I haven't told anybody that's an active Mormon this yet, much less my parents and family. It will be one ugly conversation, one that I'm most certainly not looking forward to. I suspect there's a good chance I will lose my family, but with the way my dad's been acting lately I wouldn't be sad to lose him. I have many nevermo friends who are aware of everything thats been going on and they have been nothing but amazingly supportive.
I have since realized that the depression I battled in Spring 2012 was likely from the stress/trauma coming from a then-unrealized shattered world view that often accompanies leaving the Mormon church.
The last 2 years have been the worst 2 years of my life, but I have gone through so much self discovery as well. I've made much internal progress since then. Overall I am happier and more comfortable in my own skin.
In the last half year I finally worked up the moxy to both come out to my parents/siblings as exmormon and formally resign from the cult. I was sick of pretending to be Mormon around them, and feel fucking liberated that I am officially out!
I have still got a lot of work ahead of me both in terms of personal recovery and family relations, but hey, I've only been out a year and a half. Things have improved greatly so far, and I trust it will gradually get even better.
May the FSM bless you all with his noodly appendages.
edit: So. How am I atheist? I now believe the Book of Mormon is a pilea shit, so how can I trust the bible? If Mormon Jesus let me down so badly, there must not be any other god or higher being either. The same thinking I now critically apply to all the other religions. I wish I could believe in a god, but Mormonism fucked it all up for me. Still having a hard time with the thought that there is no life after death, trying to figure out the point of life post-religion, etc. I'm sure you know the drill there. Not having all the answers anymore is really painful and scary at times.
