Christians IN Hell

[Wyrd of Gawd]

When 2 of them turned up at my door they said there were only 144,000 places in heaven. Everyone else gets a thousand years of rapture but they weren't clear what happened after that.

Unless they have changed (certainly a possibility with them) the beliefs are that at some point, Satan will turn the nations of the world against all of the false religions (ie, all except JWs) and will 'destroy Babylon the Great' (ie, every religion except JWs). Then they will turn their attention on the JWs and Jehovah will be all like "NUH UH, GIRLFRIEND" and lay a holy smackdown on everyone who isn't a JW.

144,000 JWs go to heaven, a process that began with the apostles and continues to this day. The rest will stay on Earth. After a 1,000 year period during which they are "perfected" (because it only took a bite from an apple to make us all sinners, but it requires hundreds of years of scrubbing to get rid of it), god will release Satan from whatever prison he has him in. Satan will be allowed to run around and tempt the remaining people, and any who are dumb enough to fall for his shit will die with him when god finally decides that enough is enough.

The ones who are left are given the Earth, now a paradise, to live in forever and ever. The 144,000 get to sit around in heaven forever, doing whatever it is you do in heaven. Probably jerking each other off. Roll credits.

According to the fairy tale the 144,000 are supposed to be special Jews. So how did JWs get to be special Jews?

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Jesus said himself that not everyone who said "Lord, Lord..." will have a place in the Kingdom. Its less of an orthodoxy question and more of an orthopraxy one, I.e actions speak louder than words.

Jesus was always telling lies. He'll say one thing one day and the exact opposite the next day. And then he'll make up a new version.