(March 25, 2014 at 9:21 am)KichigaiNeko Wrote:Jacob Wrote:1. At a certain point in my life I suffered from extremely low self esteem. As it often will, this manifested in self destructive behavior, inevitable consequences and a vicious spiral. This was the point at which I had my religious experience, which introduce the idea that God, the creator of the universe took a personal interest in me and indeed valued me highly. This caused me to stop many of the destructive behaviors, which in turn caused better outcomes, which in turn caused higher self esteem etc. In this way, a belief in an involved, interested and benevolent God improved my behaviour and life generally very considerably.
So essentially you were an attention whore/ spoilt brat who wanted daddy's undivided attention? And now you are a grown man able to stand on your own two feet and meet reality head on?
I wouldn't put it like that. I was somebody who couldn't cope who found a belief system which allowed me to cope. Now think (hope) I shall be able to cope without that crutch.
I don't think attention where or spoiled brat really describes it very well. Today it would be described as a mental illness. Back then it was simply being a fuckup. People find all sorts of strategies to deal with that sort of problem. That was mine. If it was cbt ecst, medication etc there wouldn't be the pejorative overtones to it.
And I am indeed a grown man, as was then. I'm also balanced enough to know that my ability to meet reality head on depends entirely on what that reality contains. Everyone has a breaking point.
"Peace is a lie, there is only passion.
Through passion, I gain strength.
Through strength, I gain power.
Through power, I gain victory.
Through victory, my chains are broken."
Sith code
Through passion, I gain strength.
Through strength, I gain power.
Through power, I gain victory.
Through victory, my chains are broken."
Sith code
