Things You Regret

[Clueless Morgan]

Morgan,

I don't know your age...but keeping men at arms length is a superb idea!
Having many boyfriends (that is to say friends who are men) is a wonderful idea.
Anyone who legally marries at less than 40 or so years of age is nuts.

My issues stem from many places including intimacy issues, major anxieties about sex, specifically pregnancy (like major anxiety), and the vestiges of some pretty bad teasing about a childhood "boyfriend" I had in preschool that leads me to be very standoffish and anxious when it comes to even considering starting a relationship.

My regret stems from the fact that I feel stunted and embarrassingly inexperienced when it comes to relationships, which creates something of a positive feedback loop - can't start a relationship because I'll have to tell people about it, thus opening myself up to potential teasing (a fear I really shouldn't have anymore but I do), and I don't want to start a relationship because then the guy will see how much of a neurotic freak I am about them and how embarrassingly inexperienced I am at them, but I won't get better at them unless I'm in one. Hence the probable need for therapy.

But it hasn't been a big problem since I (almost) never meet any guys I'm romantically interested in anyway, or ones who are romantically interested in me.

And getting married also isn't a problem as I would seriously worry about a guy who would want to marry me - and the thought of getting married makes me anxious since there isn't an easy way out of a marriage and I need to easy out to even begin to feel okay.