So far...

[ThePinsir]

Atheism sucks big hairy balls. Sorry, but it does. Personal view only you understand

Been a few months now and so far I got zero payoff. Squat. Diddly. I preferred my comfortable lie to this ugly truth, but having unplugged, I now can't plug myself back in or unthink what I thought. I

I can't even have fun debating with christians because I would not want them to lose what I lost!

I think I'm going through the kuber Ross model for Yahweh and I'm stuck on anger.

I find it kind of odd that you expected to get something out of it...

Anyway, my "payoff", if you want to call it that, is a thirst for knowledge that I never really had as a Christian. Since "deconverting" back in January I've read every popular science book I can get my hands on, and I'm in the middle of reading Neitzche now. This almost certainly would've never happened if I'd stayed in that cult.

Secondly, I met a girl who thinks a lot like me. We talk about science and philosophy and religion all the damn time, and I love it. We're dating now, and I probably would have never met her (if I did, I probably wouldn't have liked her very much) if I'd stayed a Christian.

As far as not wanting them to lose what I lost, I used to feel that way. I felt bad about bursting Christians' bubbles, so to speak. Now I don't mind so much - it's hard to do anyway because they usually deny anything you throw at them. Also, now it actually brings the lulz.

Maybe you can read up on existentialism?

Hang in there, chief