So far...

[Ryantology]

Been a few months now and so far I got zero payoff. Squat. Diddly. I preferred my comfortable lie to this ugly truth, but having unplugged, I now can't plug myself back in or unthink what I thought.

I can't even have fun debating with christians because I would not want them to lose what I lost!

I think I'm going through the kuber Ross model for Yahweh and I'm stuck on anger.

Once you come to the understanding that the comfort is as fraudulent as the lie which supplied it, it will be better for you. And, given enough time, you will understand it. I understand what you're going through.

Either way, you're mostly helpless. It's a little bit easier knowing that I'm helpless against the random, dumb forces of the universe, rather than the active malice of a cruel and hateful god.