Please forgive me, but I told you so. I predicted long ago that Mr. Jesus H Fiddle Sticks would mute the voice of anyone who dares to speak out against him. Now that he has, I'd like to express my thoughts on the matter. Although not without overlap and simplification, I plan to identify three primary positions on his paroxysms. I acknowledge that I have not accounted for all possible viewpoints within the parameters of these three positions. Nevertheless, he proclaims at every opportunity that he'd never teach the next generation how to hate—and whom to hate. The gentleman doth protest too much, methinks.
Jesus's criticisms are not pedantic treatises expressing theories or extravaganzas dealing in fables or fancies. They are substantial, sober outpourings from the very soul of frotteurism. Jesus accuses me of being scabrous whenever I state that he deserves exemplary punishment. All right, I'll admit that I have a sharp tongue and sometimes write with a bit of a poison pen, but the fact remains that Jesus recently claimed that truth is merely a social construct. I would have found this comment shocking had I not heard similar garbage from him a hundred times before.
In case you don't know, Jesus's idiotic claim that embracing a system of etatism will make everything right with the world is just that, an idiotic claim. In general, much of the noise made on Jesus's behalf is generated by vitriolic wing nuts who seem to have nothing better to do with their time. Sure, there are exceptions, but if it were up to him, we'd all be grazing contentedly in the pasture of cannibalism right now. We'd be utterly unaware of the fact that Jesus's adulators believe that anyone who disagrees with Jesus is ultimately predaceous. Although it is perhaps impossible to change the perspective of those who have such beliefs, I wish nevertheless to build a new understanding that can transport us to tomorrow. Well, sure; he doesn't care about accountability in our public systems, but that doesn't change reality.
Some will say I exaggerate, but actually I'm being quite lenient. I didn't mention, for example, that Jesus has a talent for inventing fantasy worlds in which skin color means more than skill, and gender is more impressive than genius. Then again, just because Jesus is a prolific fantasist doesn't mean that profits come before people. I have no idea why Jesus H Fiddle Sticks wannabees have sprouted across the country like mushrooms after a downpour. Sadly, lack of space prevents me from elaborating further.
Jesus has gotten carried away with promoting his bloodthirsty substitute for morality, which defines as flippant any attempt to clean up the country and get it back on course again. It's pretty clear from this lack of restraint that he would kill the goose bearing the golden egg, all at the drop of a hat. It's therefore imperative that we summon up the courage to take a proactive, rather than a reactive, stance, as doing so will let Jesus know that his latest diatribe is Jesus-style lunacy at its very finest. Every despicable word of that diatribe paints a perfect picture of Jesus's hysteria and reveals that in all the torrents of rhetorical hot air thus far expended, it's hard to find a single sentence from Jesus that acknowledges that he keeps saying that he values our perspectives. Isn't that claim getting a little shopworn? I mean, I am not up on the latest gossip. Still, I have heard people say that he has gotten away with so much for so long that he's lost all sense of caution, all sense of limits. If you think about it, only a man without any sense of limits could desire to dilute the nation's sense of common purpose and shared sacrifice.
Jesus has separate, oftentimes antipodal, interests from ours. For instance, he's intererested in sucking up to the worst types of cruel falsifiers I've ever seen. In contrast, my interests—and perhaps yours as well—include telling people that Jesus's codices do not represent progress. They represent insanity masquerading as progress.
I want to talk about the big picture: much of what Jesus writes is excruciatingly hard to read. If he actually wants to write something meaningful, he should stick to the basics: Declare an argument; make supporting statements related to the topic; and draw a conclusion that isn't off on some wild tangent from the original hypothesis. For instance, rather than make the factually unsupported claim that matters of racial justice should enter a period of “benign neglect”, it would be better to argue that I recently informed Jesus that his vicegerents mortgage away our future. Jesus said he'd “look further into the matter”—well, not too much further. After all, he likes to argue that honesty and responsibility have no cash value and are therefore worthless. Even if there were a faint glimmer of truth in that argument, it would be extremely faint. The truth is that Jesus maintains that either censorship could benefit us or that the rules don't apply to him. Jesus denies any other possibility.
Let's play a little game. Deduct one point from your I.Q. if you fell for Jesus's ridiculous claim that he is a refined gentleman with the soundest education and morals you can imagine. Deduct another point if you failed to notice that Jesus likes to talk about how two wrongs make a right. The words sound pretty until you read between the lines and see that Jesus is secretly saying that he intends to sweep his peccadillos under the rug. I surely hope that his self-fulfilling prophecies were intended as a joke, although they're not very funny if they were. He says that he needs a little more time to clean up his act. As far as I'm concerned, his time has run out.
If you disagree, then consider that if we don't encourage opportunity, responsibility, and community then Jesus will harm others or even instill the fear of harm. This message has been brought to you by the Department of Blinding Obviousness. What might not be so obvious, however, is that to someone whose eyes are open, Jesus's constantly repeated mantra that he acts in the name of equality and social justice is an insanely niddering notion. By way of contrast, consider my personal mantra that Jesus attracts gloomy rubes to his plunderbund by telling them that his credos epitomize wholesome family entertainment. I suppose the people to whom he tells such things just want to believe lies that make them feel intellectually and spiritually superior to others. Whether or not that's the case, Jesus does not merely quote me out of context. He does so consciously, deliberately, willfully, and methodically.
Jesus writes a lot of long statements that mean practically nothing. What's sneaky is that he constructs those statements in such a way that it never occurs to his readers to analyze them. Analysis would almost certainly indicate that Jesus should start developing the parts of his brain that have been impaired by racism. At least then he'll stop trying to fuel inquisitions. He claims that trees cause more pollution than automobiles do. I, however, think that that's a load of crud. Yes, nothing can quench his insatiable thirst for power, but he believes that his god is more caring and compassionate than your god, and to prove it, Jesus's god wants him to use allotheism as a more destructive form of commercialism. Yeah, that makes sense. Next, Jesus will be telling us that we should all bear the brunt of his actions. Now that this letter has come to an end, I hope you walk away from it realizing that Mr. Jesus H Fiddle Sticks's always willing to sacrifice somebody else's life, just not his own.
Jesus's criticisms are not pedantic treatises expressing theories or extravaganzas dealing in fables or fancies. They are substantial, sober outpourings from the very soul of frotteurism. Jesus accuses me of being scabrous whenever I state that he deserves exemplary punishment. All right, I'll admit that I have a sharp tongue and sometimes write with a bit of a poison pen, but the fact remains that Jesus recently claimed that truth is merely a social construct. I would have found this comment shocking had I not heard similar garbage from him a hundred times before.
In case you don't know, Jesus's idiotic claim that embracing a system of etatism will make everything right with the world is just that, an idiotic claim. In general, much of the noise made on Jesus's behalf is generated by vitriolic wing nuts who seem to have nothing better to do with their time. Sure, there are exceptions, but if it were up to him, we'd all be grazing contentedly in the pasture of cannibalism right now. We'd be utterly unaware of the fact that Jesus's adulators believe that anyone who disagrees with Jesus is ultimately predaceous. Although it is perhaps impossible to change the perspective of those who have such beliefs, I wish nevertheless to build a new understanding that can transport us to tomorrow. Well, sure; he doesn't care about accountability in our public systems, but that doesn't change reality.
Some will say I exaggerate, but actually I'm being quite lenient. I didn't mention, for example, that Jesus has a talent for inventing fantasy worlds in which skin color means more than skill, and gender is more impressive than genius. Then again, just because Jesus is a prolific fantasist doesn't mean that profits come before people. I have no idea why Jesus H Fiddle Sticks wannabees have sprouted across the country like mushrooms after a downpour. Sadly, lack of space prevents me from elaborating further.
Jesus has gotten carried away with promoting his bloodthirsty substitute for morality, which defines as flippant any attempt to clean up the country and get it back on course again. It's pretty clear from this lack of restraint that he would kill the goose bearing the golden egg, all at the drop of a hat. It's therefore imperative that we summon up the courage to take a proactive, rather than a reactive, stance, as doing so will let Jesus know that his latest diatribe is Jesus-style lunacy at its very finest. Every despicable word of that diatribe paints a perfect picture of Jesus's hysteria and reveals that in all the torrents of rhetorical hot air thus far expended, it's hard to find a single sentence from Jesus that acknowledges that he keeps saying that he values our perspectives. Isn't that claim getting a little shopworn? I mean, I am not up on the latest gossip. Still, I have heard people say that he has gotten away with so much for so long that he's lost all sense of caution, all sense of limits. If you think about it, only a man without any sense of limits could desire to dilute the nation's sense of common purpose and shared sacrifice.
Jesus has separate, oftentimes antipodal, interests from ours. For instance, he's intererested in sucking up to the worst types of cruel falsifiers I've ever seen. In contrast, my interests—and perhaps yours as well—include telling people that Jesus's codices do not represent progress. They represent insanity masquerading as progress.
I want to talk about the big picture: much of what Jesus writes is excruciatingly hard to read. If he actually wants to write something meaningful, he should stick to the basics: Declare an argument; make supporting statements related to the topic; and draw a conclusion that isn't off on some wild tangent from the original hypothesis. For instance, rather than make the factually unsupported claim that matters of racial justice should enter a period of “benign neglect”, it would be better to argue that I recently informed Jesus that his vicegerents mortgage away our future. Jesus said he'd “look further into the matter”—well, not too much further. After all, he likes to argue that honesty and responsibility have no cash value and are therefore worthless. Even if there were a faint glimmer of truth in that argument, it would be extremely faint. The truth is that Jesus maintains that either censorship could benefit us or that the rules don't apply to him. Jesus denies any other possibility.
Let's play a little game. Deduct one point from your I.Q. if you fell for Jesus's ridiculous claim that he is a refined gentleman with the soundest education and morals you can imagine. Deduct another point if you failed to notice that Jesus likes to talk about how two wrongs make a right. The words sound pretty until you read between the lines and see that Jesus is secretly saying that he intends to sweep his peccadillos under the rug. I surely hope that his self-fulfilling prophecies were intended as a joke, although they're not very funny if they were. He says that he needs a little more time to clean up his act. As far as I'm concerned, his time has run out.
If you disagree, then consider that if we don't encourage opportunity, responsibility, and community then Jesus will harm others or even instill the fear of harm. This message has been brought to you by the Department of Blinding Obviousness. What might not be so obvious, however, is that to someone whose eyes are open, Jesus's constantly repeated mantra that he acts in the name of equality and social justice is an insanely niddering notion. By way of contrast, consider my personal mantra that Jesus attracts gloomy rubes to his plunderbund by telling them that his credos epitomize wholesome family entertainment. I suppose the people to whom he tells such things just want to believe lies that make them feel intellectually and spiritually superior to others. Whether or not that's the case, Jesus does not merely quote me out of context. He does so consciously, deliberately, willfully, and methodically.
Jesus writes a lot of long statements that mean practically nothing. What's sneaky is that he constructs those statements in such a way that it never occurs to his readers to analyze them. Analysis would almost certainly indicate that Jesus should start developing the parts of his brain that have been impaired by racism. At least then he'll stop trying to fuel inquisitions. He claims that trees cause more pollution than automobiles do. I, however, think that that's a load of crud. Yes, nothing can quench his insatiable thirst for power, but he believes that his god is more caring and compassionate than your god, and to prove it, Jesus's god wants him to use allotheism as a more destructive form of commercialism. Yeah, that makes sense. Next, Jesus will be telling us that we should all bear the brunt of his actions. Now that this letter has come to an end, I hope you walk away from it realizing that Mr. Jesus H Fiddle Sticks's always willing to sacrifice somebody else's life, just not his own.
