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Let's edit the NT.
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Everywhere it says "crucifixion" that would become "gruesome fiction".
"Virgin" would become "incredible liar". "Faith" => "Failed" Etc. First Autocorrected Holey Bible.  
Could start by calling it the New Testicles.
 (January 25, 2018 at 8:55 am)Gawdzilla Sama Wrote: Everywhere it says "crucifixion" that would become "gruesome fiction". 1) Too many people witnessed the crucifixion of Jesus. Romans in fact did put to death a lot of people in that way so there is 99,9% of the probabilities that Jesus die in that way. 2) Virginity. In this case there is 99,9% of the probabilities that Mary had sex in order to conceive. 3) Faith. Most people have faith in something or someone. Atheists have faith in the idea that there is no God. To summarize. You may have got one and failed two. 
Gen 6:15 And this is the fashion which thou shalt make it of: The length of the ark shall be three hundred cubits, the breadth of it fifty cubits, and the height of it thirty cubits.
Gen 6:15a And Noah did sayeth; Are you out of your fucking mind O Lord?
It's amazing 'science' always seems to 'find' whatever it is funded for, and never the oppsite. Drich.
I've always thought the Bible could be improved by adding the following dedication page:
'To my darling Candy. I'll never forget that night in Cabo.' Boru
‘I can’t be having with this.’ - Esmeralda Weatherwax
(January 25, 2018 at 9:42 am)Succubus Wrote: Gen 6:15 And this is the fashion which thou shalt make it of: The length of the ark shall be three hundred cubits, the breadth of it fifty cubits, and the height of it thirty cubits. God's lawyers have advised him to plea the 5th. 
The the Lord God spake unto Noah, thou shalt take of every living kind upon thy under sized ridiculously proportioned boat
Noah trembling sayeth unto the Lord God, shalt I take thy fish too ? The Lord God sayeth unto him with contempt, ''Are thou fucking stupid Noah, it's a flood'' ''Oh yeah'' said Noah.
'Those who ask a lot of questions may seem stupid, but those who don't ask questions stay stupid'
1 Then the word of the LORD came to Jonah a second time: 2 “Go to the great city of Nineveh and proclaim to it the message I give you.” (2.5 the reclaimed text) - "And Jonah said to the Lord "But Lord, they were expecting me to arrive last week! The mushrooms Thou gavest me were worthy of heaven, Lord, but what shall I tell the people of Ninevah? They will implore Thee to provide mushrooms to the city!" "And the Lord replied, "Tell them that thou didst defy the Lord Thy God, so I made a giant fish swallow thee for three days and nights. That's what thy dreams told thee anyway." (end new text) 3 Jonah obeyed the word of the LORD and went to Nineveh.
"The family that prays together...is brainwashing their children."- Albert Einstein
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