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Let's edit the NT.
January 25, 2018 at 8:55 am
Everywhere it says "crucifixion" that would become "gruesome fiction".
"Virgin" would become "incredible liar".
"Faith" => "Failed"
Etc.
First Autocorrected Holey Bible.
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RE: Let's edit the NT.
January 25, 2018 at 9:00 am
Could start by calling it the New Testicles.
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RE: Let's edit the NT.
January 25, 2018 at 9:42 am
Gen 6:15 And this is the fashion which thou shalt make it of: The length of the ark shall be three hundred cubits, the breadth of it fifty cubits, and the height of it thirty cubits.
Gen 6:15a And Noah did sayeth; Are you out of your fucking mind O Lord?
It's amazing 'science' always seems to 'find' whatever it is funded for, and never the oppsite. Drich.
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RE: Let's edit the NT.
January 25, 2018 at 10:46 am
I've always thought the Bible could be improved by adding the following dedication page:
'To my darling Candy. I'll never forget that night in Cabo.'
Boru
‘But it does me no injury for my neighbour to say there are twenty gods or no gods. It neither picks my pocket nor breaks my leg.’ - Thomas Jefferson
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RE: Let's edit the NT.
January 25, 2018 at 10:55 am
The the Lord God spake unto Noah, thou shalt take of every living kind upon thy under sized ridiculously proportioned boat
Noah trembling sayeth unto the Lord God, shalt I take thy fish too ?
The Lord God sayeth unto him with contempt, ''Are thou fucking stupid Noah, it's a flood''
''Oh yeah'' said Noah.
'Those who ask a lot of questions may seem stupid, but those who don't ask questions stay stupid'
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RE: Let's edit the NT.
January 25, 2018 at 11:20 am
1 Then the word of the LORD came to Jonah a second time: 2 “Go to the great city of Nineveh and proclaim to it the message I give you.” (2.5 the reclaimed text) - "And Jonah said to the Lord "But Lord, they were expecting me to arrive last week! The mushrooms Thou gavest me were worthy of heaven, Lord, but what shall I tell the people of Ninevah? They will implore Thee to provide mushrooms to the city!" "And the Lord replied, "Tell them that thou didst defy the Lord Thy God, so I made a giant fish swallow thee for three days and nights. That's what thy dreams told thee anyway." (end new text) 3 Jonah obeyed the word of the LORD and went to Nineveh.
"The family that prays together...is brainwashing their children."- Albert Einstein
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RE: Let's edit the NT.
January 25, 2018 at 11:38 am
Canonize all of the books that were left out.
I don't have an anger problem, I have an idiot problem.