Why I believed:
Like everyone else, I was a baby sucking up information along with milk. I was fed on Christianity but thankfully a very thin mixture. Stopped going to church long before I started going to school so I barely remember it.
I remember eating my Fritos on the way to school and tossing some in the air behind me for Jesus. But I had no contact with the bible. Most of what I believed I made up myself from the seed idea that God was all powerful, ever-present and listening in. I thought of Jesus as 'the best'. I imagined Him living forever and lonely. In order be good company I thought it important to do the right thing for the right reason. Rule following wasn't going to help poor Jesus feel any less lonely. It was important, for His sake, to become a peer. That meant I had to figure out and do what I thought best, act in a manner I could justify.
Why I stopped believing:
All I ever had was the warm glow of God's presence. He never spoke to me. After the real identity of the tooth fairy, the Easter bunny and Santa Claus were revealed it just seemed likely that god would be the next to fall. I was an atheist before I got out of elementary school but I guess I felt I had to tread softly to avoid disturbing the belief of others. I seemed to be surrounded by believers but fortunately none of them were forcefully intrusive. Just as we older kids were conspirators in maintaining the Santa myth for the enjoyment of the younger ones, I became a conspirator in the ongoing belief in god by my extended family.
Like everyone else, I was a baby sucking up information along with milk. I was fed on Christianity but thankfully a very thin mixture. Stopped going to church long before I started going to school so I barely remember it.
I remember eating my Fritos on the way to school and tossing some in the air behind me for Jesus. But I had no contact with the bible. Most of what I believed I made up myself from the seed idea that God was all powerful, ever-present and listening in. I thought of Jesus as 'the best'. I imagined Him living forever and lonely. In order be good company I thought it important to do the right thing for the right reason. Rule following wasn't going to help poor Jesus feel any less lonely. It was important, for His sake, to become a peer. That meant I had to figure out and do what I thought best, act in a manner I could justify.
Why I stopped believing:
All I ever had was the warm glow of God's presence. He never spoke to me. After the real identity of the tooth fairy, the Easter bunny and Santa Claus were revealed it just seemed likely that god would be the next to fall. I was an atheist before I got out of elementary school but I guess I felt I had to tread softly to avoid disturbing the belief of others. I seemed to be surrounded by believers but fortunately none of them were forcefully intrusive. Just as we older kids were conspirators in maintaining the Santa myth for the enjoyment of the younger ones, I became a conspirator in the ongoing belief in god by my extended family.
