Your thoughts on finding "the one"?

[Clueless Morgan]

But then discussing my revelation with a couple of friends kind of undermined my new mentality. They completely disagreed with what I was doing because they thought a potential relationship with one of these girls would have a completely artificial foundation, and thus wouldn't be an enjoyable/genuine relationship, because I created the circumstances for us to meet.

[My bolding]

If you meet a girl in one of your engineering classes you will have created the circumstances for you meet by going to college and deciding to major in engineering.

If you meet a girl at one of your band gigs, you will have created the circumstances for you meet by accepting that gig and showing up for it.

If you think about it, even if you joined some kind of meetup group for people with similar interests and met someone there, you'd have created the circumstances for you meet by joining that meetup group.

And who says you can't have a meaningful, enjoyable or genuine relationship with someone you happen to chance upon? If you introduce yourself, get a number and go on a date you might find out that you stumbled upon a girl that is really compatible with you.

You know the saying:


It works the same way for dating. The more feelers you have out there, the more dates you go on, the more probable it will be that you'll meet someone you really like. What you need to determine is whether you want to take a shotgun approach (going to every singles bar and speed-dating seminar to maximize exposure) or whether you want to take a more targeted approach (by limiting yourself to groups or activities where you'll more likely share some interests to start with).

Who cares about how you meet*; what matters is that you meet.

*Within socially acceptable limits; i.e. no stalking or other creepy/scary approaches :p

Move at a pace dictated by the circumstances. If it feel like a hand-holdy moment or a kissing moment, then maybe it is, but don't force a moment just to move the relationship forward. Be genuine, and don't think you have to get married by a specific age (a man's biological clock is no where near as limited as a woman's). Focus on finding a compatible partner who shares your values and makes you happy, and who you make happy in turn.