Your thoughts on finding "the one"?

[FallentoReason]

FTR, man, seriously, good for you for not only getting these girls' numbers, but for not leading with, say, a lame pickup line. Treating girls like people and not targets is the best way to become their acquaintances, friends, lovers, what have you.

Thank you I would never objectify women even if it's to the slightest degree. I definitely see all women as potential friends/lovers with real feelings and thoughts haha.

And random meetings where you reach out are the best way to meet girls, or really anybody! I literally turned to the first person on my left and talked to her, and now we've been dating for close to four years.

Wow, good on you! That definitely gives me more hope.

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Like most people, I want a family, and this means that eventually I will have to find the girl - a.k.a. "the one" - that is for me.

Personally, I think seeking a lifemate by making a shopping list is the wrong way to go about it. (I made that mistake too)

I think the best way to find "the one" is to work slavishly to become "the one" on your side.

Oh, definitely! I tuned in on this about two years ago, and ever since I've been continuously working on myself.

Girls are looking, consciously and subconsciously, for guys that have sharply defined traits of compassion, confidence, honesty, stability, looks, and fun. If you strive hard to build that within yourself, (It's take more work than building a space station) you will attract the best woman who will show you the best within her.

The best women have strong radar!

I'd like to think that I have plenty to offer. I'm a musician and poet at heart, all the while building a future for me and a family through my engineering degree. And I maintain good body physique at the gym while making sure to look my sharpest every time I walk out of the house. There's plenty on my plate as it is haha.

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You are only 23. You have plenty of time. I don't know too many people that have an interesting "how we met story." Most are average: party, friends, work, school, and such. You're putting yourself out there; it's gonna happen. Your friends sound a bit naive. Those "4 numbers" you got are a great place to start. You met them in a cafe? Call them up and see if they wanna get a cup of coffee. Both of you obviously like coffee (whatever they were drinking), so there is a shared interest. What is "artificial" about that? Relax. Ease into it. Just keep in mind they probably didn't give you their numbers because they're looking for someone to settle down with, marry, and ride off into the sunset, living happily ever after. They probably thought you were interesting, cute, whatever. Start with that. Think trial and error not home run on the first swing.

Mmm yes, good advice. I think you're right in that I need to relax a bit. Maybe I should completely forget about my end goal, and just focus on the here and now. Take it in one day at a time, and see where things go with these girls that I meet.