(August 11, 2014 at 10:45 am)FallentoReason Wrote: Firstly, I'd like to say that it's been a while since I've been here! I guess long story short, I decided about a year ago to stop questioning life and actually just live it for now. This led me to sink into apatheism indefinitely.
Anyways, the reason why I've come here to post again, is that I've got a bit of a crisis. Like most people, I want a family, and this means that eventually I will have to find the girl - a.k.a. "the one" - that is for me. But over the last couple of years, meeting new girls is something that has happened once every 5-6 months, if that (maybe a bit of context about me might help here: if you don't remember, I'm 23 and a full time engineering student. I also play in a band, and the rest of my time is devoted to working/socialising with friends). So with such a low rate of meeting new girls, it hardly seems like finding "the one" will be something that can just happen without me having to try.
This leads me to where I'm at now. I had a sort of revelation recently that led me to think in a new way. Long story short, I don't see the problem with approaching someone completely random who I think is attractive (say e.g. at a cafe) and making myself known, perhaps by making a witty/cute comment that will grab their attention.
I've tried this over the last week, and have gotten 4 out of 4 girls' numbers.
Now, here's where my crisis begins.
I thought this was the answer to my problem; that I just need to start being more pro-active and make things come about instead of waiting for some miracle. But then discussing my revelation with a couple of friends kind of undermined my new mentality. They completely disagreed with what I was doing because they thought a potential relationship with one of these girls would have a completely artificial foundation, and thus wouldn't be an enjoyable/genuine relationship, because I created the circumstances for us to meet.
A brief discussion with a separate friend completely left me destroyed and hopeless, after he said that I should make my intentions known asap [with one of the four girls I'm currently interested in] and hold her hand/kiss her next time, because I'm fast approaching 30 years of age. I guess what I didn't like about his advice was that basically I need to quite literally act desperate and try establish a sort of early relationship with her. I don't feel like that's the right way of doing things, but then there's the whole "friend zone" business that I think he was alluding to.
I'm not sure what you guys are meant to get out of the above. Maybe I've just vomited a bunch of thoughts that don't make sense.. but yeah.. I guess that would actually be accurate because I don't know what to do anymore. All I know is that I want a family someday, but getting there seems like one in a million right now.
Are you Latino catholic? How is 23 a must get married now or it will be too late age?
Don't force anything. Take your time and let things progress on their own time. Get established (get through school) get a job. Once the kids come it's all but impossible to do all of those things.
