Lonely and a bit depressed

[psychoslice]

For myself I have never felt the feeling of loneliness, I like seeing a friend here and there but I prefer my own company. I think we need to get to know ourselves first, and also to love yourself, if we cannot do this we can never love another, or truly love ourselves, no matter where we are, alone or with another.

I find it very difficult to love myself. I feel like every time I look back on something I say or do I just feel bad about it. It's like that Shakespearean blood on the hands that won't come off thing. They keep coming back to haunt me as if each bad memory becomes an apparition inside of my mind. I am constantly being reminded of how I've fell short. When I think of myself there's two sides of the coin. On one side there's the person who I want to be. Smart, good looking, someone who people like, talented. In reality I haven't proven myself capable of accomplishing anything that takes a lot of intelligence. In my eyes I'm average looking. No one wants to talk and no one ever does. I possess no great talents, nothing sets me apart from others. I feel like I myself am just a material object. Life is valuable to me, but my body and my mind feel like they're just low functioning pieces of crap and there is nothing in the world that could change that. There's no drugs for that I can take, there's nothing anyone can say that can change that.

I myself have schizophrenia, I felt like you for years before I was diagnosed. Now medicated I have a much better life quality, there is nothing wrong with medication, especially with clinical depression and psychotic problems.

You are probably feeling guilty for some reason, and have a low self-esteem. Try not to go through your life worrying about what other people think of you, no one is perfect no matter who they are. A great intelligence, doesn't really mean anything, its what you yourself believe about yourself. Most people want to tear others around them down to their level, be yourself, don't try to be something your not, you are unique, there is no other like you in this whole universe.

Try to get to know yourself better, for you are the only person on this planet that truly knows who you are, be yourself and don't let anyone use you as a doormat. This whole planet is full of neurotic creatures called humans, try to realize that and have compassion for all those people, and not forgetting yourself. Now get of your arss and start living, sorry only joking.