One of my most happy moments as an Atheist was when I started praying again. It was a day that I regained a relationship that I had built up with myself since childhood. I should say, I never performed those preformed prayers that you'd hear at church. Instead, I asked questions and I stated my intentions for myself or stated things that would satisfy me to happen to others (think Get well soon).
As a Christian, I labeled that deeper reflection of myself as God- after all, the mechanism worked very god-like according to what I understood the definition of God to be. I asked questions and received answers. I didn't get answers every time and the answers I did get seemed obvious after the fact, but at the time I thought they must be of some divine origin. After years of sporadically praying it became part of my identity and it sort of hurt to let that go.
Today I don't ascribe that part of myself to God, obviously, but I'm also hesitant to label it as just deep reflection or deep thought. I have deep thought that runs like a train with many carts and I have deep reflection of the choices I've made and the opportunities I may have missed or nailed. This is a different part of myself that I visit at will without a trail of breadcrumbs. It's a part of myself where I can be imperfect and say "I don't know what to do." or "I'm not perfect. I need help." I use that deeper part of myself as a wishing well to state my intentions and, at the same time, to define my intentions based on the situation at hand. I find it useful for strengthening my resolve.
As a Christian, I labeled that deeper reflection of myself as God- after all, the mechanism worked very god-like according to what I understood the definition of God to be. I asked questions and received answers. I didn't get answers every time and the answers I did get seemed obvious after the fact, but at the time I thought they must be of some divine origin. After years of sporadically praying it became part of my identity and it sort of hurt to let that go.
Today I don't ascribe that part of myself to God, obviously, but I'm also hesitant to label it as just deep reflection or deep thought. I have deep thought that runs like a train with many carts and I have deep reflection of the choices I've made and the opportunities I may have missed or nailed. This is a different part of myself that I visit at will without a trail of breadcrumbs. It's a part of myself where I can be imperfect and say "I don't know what to do." or "I'm not perfect. I need help." I use that deeper part of myself as a wishing well to state my intentions and, at the same time, to define my intentions based on the situation at hand. I find it useful for strengthening my resolve.
I can't remember where this verse is from, I think it got removed from canon:
"I don't hang around with mostly men because I'm gay. It's because men are better than women. Better trained, better equipped...better. Just better! I'm not gay."
For context, this is the previous verse:
"Hi Jesus" -robvalue
"I don't hang around with mostly men because I'm gay. It's because men are better than women. Better trained, better equipped...better. Just better! I'm not gay."
For context, this is the previous verse:
"Hi Jesus" -robvalue
