Horrible things in the bible

[JesusHChrist]

I don't have testimony from living witnesses that King Henry VIII existed, but I believe he existed. I have testimonies from people I know well of how their lives have been changed and I can see it in their lives.

And a Hindu has testimonies from people they know well of how Vishnu changed their lives.

And a Muslim has testimonies from people they know well of how Allah changed their lives.

And a Scientologist has testimonies from people they know well (and who are FAMOUS!!) of how the e-meter, auditing and forking over cash have changed their lives.

In short, testimonies aren't worth the bullshit they are written on. Like the place where the sun don't shine, everyone has a testimony. And many, many testimonies are contradictory.

Utterly worthless without outside corroboration.

Hell, I've got a testimony for how my life has changed since I accepted Pastafarianism as my One True Religion. I met a beautiful woman, got a nice house, even got a raise the other day! Praise the FSM! May he be covered in sauce! We do eat MUCH pasta my friend. Much. Clearly the FSM is responsible for my good fortune!

And you know the funny part? This is all you theists have. No evidence, but we've got stories! Stories by the boat load. Stories of "revelation"! The whole pathetic enterprise of theism is based on story-telling, except many of you don't know when to quit.

Stories, but no evidence; the essence of theism.

At least make better stories, K? For all it's weirdness, at least Scientology *tried* to make it interesting. Christianity/Islam/Mormonism/Judaism - dull, dull, mind-boggling, soul-crushing dull!

Sex it up a bit! And those plot holes! OMG!