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(July 18, 2010 at 9:22 pm)UtopianMoon Wrote: Well, my boyfriend is very, very selfish and is upset that my parents can not get over the fact he wanted nothing to do with his own baby. Yes, I am pregnant and he actually stated he wanted a girl, not a boy and wanted nothing to do with the baby. :/ Then he went back and apologized saying it was out of fear. My family (who is doing the most support) wants time and wants the baby to be born first before any interaction with him. This is because he needs help himself and needs to get himself together. I am stable, my family is stable but he is completely insane. He wants to be with me but he never ask me how the pregnancy is. He says he wants to "support" me but never realizes his support is to help himself first and make sure he is okay. He can not be a lone and he is "losing interest" in me and does not think of the child at all. I told him once the baby is born that he will be more active in my life and we can work on the relationship but he still is being selfish.
He does believe he is thinking for me but he is not. He thinks I am saying what my parents are saying but I want time myself. What he put me through was harsh and he is not understanding he is putting more stress on me. When I say that he then says, "Well what about my stress?" I do not understand what he is stressing about when I am not searching for anyone and I am still with him. :/ I am not cheating, I am keeping myself calm and I am seeing a doctor. I tell him everything, I call him everyday but yet he is stress because I am not physically there. I asked him, "Is he happy with himself?" And he does not answer me. I never meant any man who can not be a lone for one night.
He did the same thing when I was at E3. I was gone for one week and panicked when I did not call him every hour. Yes, he freaked on me when I called him only at night and text him all day while I was at E3 in LA, Cali. So, I said, "You want me to call you during the afternoon too?" He said, "Yes." So, I do that but he never picked up and I called him at night. He still complained until I got him. He does this all the time. He is not confident in himself or the relationship unless I am physically there. He think supporting me has to be for him to be standing next to me 24/7. He does not like to be a lone and so, I have to suffer for all this.
I want to tell him that he was the one that caused all this. He was the one who could be with me, could of had a home to stay at when his apartment lease is up, could of had an opportunist to go to school for what he wanted, could of had a family, could of had a wife etc... But he had to screw it all up because he decided that at 28 years old he was not ready for a family. He was not ready to move on a way from his childish behavior. :/ Even though he says oppisite to everyone else.
He is crazy but I still care enough to make it work and see if he can survive. So far, it is going up and down. I am testing him but he is barely passing. It is really sad.
1.) You should have never got pregnant by this guy. Condoms, IUDs & birth control medication are very common & available these days. No excuse for accidents other than your birth control failed / broke.
2.) Run away as fast as you can. If this guy is distant from you *while you are carrying his child* it is not going to get better when you have the child. Children *never* make a relationship better because children are *work*. Best case scenario: He stays with you & ends up resenting you & the kid because you are cramping his style.
"How is it that a lame man does not annoy us while a lame mind does? Because a lame man recognizes that we are walking straight, while a lame mind says that it is we who are limping." - Pascal
