Ideally, I'd post this in the 18+ section, but I haven't dinged 60 days in my membership yet. This is also kind of long winded, so please bear with me.
Succinctly put, I'd like to find a mate/spouse/significant other, but I have no idea how, nor if I can ultimately be successful in finding one.
Like I mentioned in my intro post and in some other posts, I'm physically disabled. Specifically, I have Arthrogryposis Multiplex Congenita. The long and short of it is physical disability from birth, consisting of deformities in my joints and missing muscle groups. I've had ~43 or so surgeries since birth (you lose track after a while...) to give me what mobility and strength I do have, with some assorted other things (rods in my back, plates in each hip, etc.).
Because of that, I need constant care. When I'm in my electric wheelchair, I'm somewhat self-sufficient, so long as my tray is attached and I can reach things. But I need help in the activities of daily living department (food prep, laundry, toilet, showers, in/out of bed, that sort of thing).
With all of that is a heaping dose of doubt in myself on that part. Is it possible for me to find someone that would still be able to look at me as an equal partner and not a patient? Can I be an equal partner? Would I be happy having someone I love do all of those things for me?
I'd like to find out. The other problem, linked to the first, is that I don't really have an opportunity to go out and meet people. I live at the home I've always lived in. Presently, my retired mother takes care of me. I cannot drive myself to places (I can drive my wheelchair, but not my accessible van). So the one two punch of needing a chaperone to bring me places and "hey, wanna come back to my place? You can meet my mom" is a pretty big hurdle. Not that I don't love my mom, of course.
How can I meet people? Dating sites seem kind of fishy, especially since you need to pay them before you can really do anything. The blind first date thing really isn't feasible, either, given the logistics laid out above. Is there a place online where you can just meet people first, then move on? I'm not interested in sex (well, that's a lie
), but rather a lasting relationship.
I have had one previous relationship before, way back at the end of high school/beginning of college. But, being a dumb 19/20 year old, I messed it up. I'm now nearly 35
I have reconnected with her, but she's been in a committed relationship since our breakup, so we're just friends, which is incredibly bittersweet from my perspective.
So, with all that said, I'm lonely, but I'm not sure how, or even if, I can remedy it. I love my family and friends, but I want more.
I'm really interested in hearing your advice, especially from any female members that may read this. Would any of you enter or stay in a relationship knowing up front all of the extra work and logistical issues it would entail? Like, say, wiping my butt (gross, but, reality)? Are there any places online where you can get to know people without entering blind date hell?
Succinctly put, I'd like to find a mate/spouse/significant other, but I have no idea how, nor if I can ultimately be successful in finding one.
Like I mentioned in my intro post and in some other posts, I'm physically disabled. Specifically, I have Arthrogryposis Multiplex Congenita. The long and short of it is physical disability from birth, consisting of deformities in my joints and missing muscle groups. I've had ~43 or so surgeries since birth (you lose track after a while...) to give me what mobility and strength I do have, with some assorted other things (rods in my back, plates in each hip, etc.).
Because of that, I need constant care. When I'm in my electric wheelchair, I'm somewhat self-sufficient, so long as my tray is attached and I can reach things. But I need help in the activities of daily living department (food prep, laundry, toilet, showers, in/out of bed, that sort of thing).
With all of that is a heaping dose of doubt in myself on that part. Is it possible for me to find someone that would still be able to look at me as an equal partner and not a patient? Can I be an equal partner? Would I be happy having someone I love do all of those things for me?
I'd like to find out. The other problem, linked to the first, is that I don't really have an opportunity to go out and meet people. I live at the home I've always lived in. Presently, my retired mother takes care of me. I cannot drive myself to places (I can drive my wheelchair, but not my accessible van). So the one two punch of needing a chaperone to bring me places and "hey, wanna come back to my place? You can meet my mom" is a pretty big hurdle. Not that I don't love my mom, of course.
How can I meet people? Dating sites seem kind of fishy, especially since you need to pay them before you can really do anything. The blind first date thing really isn't feasible, either, given the logistics laid out above. Is there a place online where you can just meet people first, then move on? I'm not interested in sex (well, that's a lie
), but rather a lasting relationship. I have had one previous relationship before, way back at the end of high school/beginning of college. But, being a dumb 19/20 year old, I messed it up. I'm now nearly 35
I have reconnected with her, but she's been in a committed relationship since our breakup, so we're just friends, which is incredibly bittersweet from my perspective.So, with all that said, I'm lonely, but I'm not sure how, or even if, I can remedy it. I love my family and friends, but I want more.
I'm really interested in hearing your advice, especially from any female members that may read this. Would any of you enter or stay in a relationship knowing up front all of the extra work and logistical issues it would entail? Like, say, wiping my butt (gross, but, reality)? Are there any places online where you can get to know people without entering blind date hell?
"I was thirsty for everything, but blood wasn't my style" - Live, "Voodoo Lady"
