(January 7, 2015 at 3:14 pm)rexbeccarox Wrote:(January 7, 2015 at 6:34 am)Alex K Wrote: That's a very good question. My impression (though I've only lived there for 2...3 years) is that these kinds of relations are at the same time more formalized and more pragmatic than in Europe. There is something like a rough industry standard of how couples initially meet, encapsulated in the concept "date". There is a standardized idea how dates usually go and how quickly they progress concerning intimacy, what with which things are appropriate on a first, second, third date. While this varies in particular depending on age of those involved, it does not seem to be arbitrary.
There are non-exclusive and exclusive variants, and initially dating is often non-exclusive. Much of these things have been captured in their cliché varieties in American pop culture such as Movies and TV Series and music.
All of this is very alien to me, and barely any (none of the more stable) of my relationships have started like this.
Really???
No.
They've been "captured" in movies, TV series, and music because those are the only places the relationship traits you describe happen. "Rough industry standard"? Try "cliché put forth by the media" that most people don't adhere to.
Sorry, Alex, but I was just reading your post, scratching my head. Let's let USians answer questions about USian dating, shall we? You watch too many movies! :p
Dating is different for every person in every area of the country. I've been dating for over twenty years, all over this country, and every experience has been different. Dating in Southern California is much different from dating in Tennessee, which is much different from dating in upstate NY, which is much different from my engagement to an Australian. Currently, I'm in California, dating a fellow native Tennessean. We are "exclusive", I guess, meaning neither one of us is seeing or wants to see anyone else, but we don't make a big deal out of it. We certainly didn't go for any kind of "industry standard" of what to do on the first, second, or third date.
I was half admitting that I was mainly reciting a cliche of what "american dating' is supposedly. But I don't admit complete defeat, I've seen many friends go on dates and talk about them, and there was a common kernel of truth to the cliche, a way to talk about and to think about this dating thing, that just seemed distinctly off to me. You may not even see it bc. you're so used to it.
The fool hath said in his heart, There is a God. They are corrupt, they have done abominable works, there is none that doeth good.
Psalm 14, KJV revised edition
