I'm a little like you. I can remember with some clarity wondering how adults could believe in god, but just what year that was is harder to pin down. Before kindergarten I think, but maybe later. . .
I just joined this forum mid last year. For an American, it's a breath of fresh air. I'm surrounded by Christians.
If there is a god, I want to believe that there is a god. If there is not a god, I want to believe that there is no god.