New to Everything
March 29, 2015 at 12:13 am
(This post was last modified: March 29, 2015 at 12:14 am by Brometheus.)
Hi, I am a 30-something dad, former Christian church-planter - one of those ones who actually believed it to be true, with no deeper awareness that I was deluded or deceiving myself. After witnessing 3 horrible church blow-ups I began questioning Christianity, because the Bible says that if the spirit of God who raised up Jesus from the dead was in us, we would be different. All the Christians I had ever met, (which was also true of all throughout history) have been as, or more, bad than non-Christians.
I began reading. The more I read, the more I knew I was wrong. I de-converted.
I developed a deep depression and panic disorder, and would be gripped by irrational fears that god was going to smite me, or drop me imminently into hell. I would awake at night with absolute terror. I was eventually medicated for it.
Now a couple years removed, and a lot of CBT under my belt, I am logically and persistently confirming my un-belief. Now I read Hitchens, Dawkins and Harris for comfort. I read Kaku, Hawking, Greene and Lederman for the sheer joy and wonder of the immense universe and nature I was missing out on.
I am still on my way through this, and often-times the old 'first reaction' kicks in and I act like an ass. But I'm sincerely trying to find my way out of this darkness and delusion...
I enjoy working out, wood-working, computer programming and my dog.
I began reading. The more I read, the more I knew I was wrong. I de-converted.
I developed a deep depression and panic disorder, and would be gripped by irrational fears that god was going to smite me, or drop me imminently into hell. I would awake at night with absolute terror. I was eventually medicated for it.
Now a couple years removed, and a lot of CBT under my belt, I am logically and persistently confirming my un-belief. Now I read Hitchens, Dawkins and Harris for comfort. I read Kaku, Hawking, Greene and Lederman for the sheer joy and wonder of the immense universe and nature I was missing out on.
I am still on my way through this, and often-times the old 'first reaction' kicks in and I act like an ass. But I'm sincerely trying to find my way out of this darkness and delusion...
I enjoy working out, wood-working, computer programming and my dog.
