(May 15, 2015 at 10:44 am)nicanica123 Wrote:(May 14, 2015 at 6:04 pm)cocunningham Wrote: Thanks :-D . We had fallen in a rut doing the same thing every day even going to the same place every year for vacation. We stopped really talking to each other in more than in polite uninteresting "how was your day". So adding some spontaneity and going to new places, experiencing new cultures, and trying new foods has done us a lot of good. We drew Scotland this year but my wife is pregnant with our second child so we're hesitant to do any international travel. We'll just have to put it back and draw again until we pull something domestic.
I appreciate your sensible practical suggestions. The problem with my situation is loaded. Me and my wife travel maybe 2-3 months out of the year. We laugh constantly and we see eye to eye in most situations. I really do think that my issue is 2 part, I don't want to be a JW anymore. Not out of spite but out of connivence to the fact that I don't think I even believe in it. But it would crush my wife if she knew that. And the 2nd part is that she is an attractive person but I am not sexually attracted to her anymore. There is a lot more shit involved than just those 2 things but its hard to feel like we can get back to when we were in love. I have struggled for years now and the one thing that kept me in it, was that I would have to cheat on her to get a divorce and I would never do that. So it is a refreshing thought that if there is no god then I don't have to pay heed to that
(May 14, 2015 at 5:13 pm)Cato Wrote: The opinion expressed in the OP comes across as extremely juvenille. I am having a very difficult time believing the poster is married with children with such superficial outlook on the matter.
I know that atheist don't have a clergy or hierarchy but rather respected individuals that speak out as atheists, correct? Matt D from atheist experience is one of these men to many atheists. I saw a lecture once where he said (paraphrased) "people say that you want to be an atheist just so that you can do immoral things, so what, whats wrong with that?"
Ok so most relationships start with a physical attraction or need for companionship, but the successful long term relationships become deeper. It sounds like you have that in your marriage but because your interests in her physically have waned you want a divorce. I find this very immature and selfish.
As you presented it you appear to want to become atheist to escape the cumbersome culture of your community and because you think as an atheist you can escape your conscience. This is both flawed and cowardly. As an atheist you are not devoid of a conscience. Yes my values have changed but I still attempt to help others and feel guilty when I behave in a selfish manner.
Finally it appears your now asking the community on this site for approval. So you have it from me. You have indicated no intentions of trying to work through this rough spot in your marriage because it keeps you from smoking weed and doing what you want to do. So go with my blessing to a divorce lawyer as it appears she would be better off. One thing to remember if your in the US she has to sign the divorce papers in order for you to get divorced. And based on what you said you becoming atheist is not grounds for her to divorce. So I guess you guys will just have to be seperated but still can't escape the Judaism traditions.
