how do you cheer yourself up on a bad day?

[thesummerqueen]

I don't have a partner to have a sex with :p I sing a lot in private and sometimes in public i don't care if anyone's watching,i will try to take on a smallish task but well its hard i always go for the tougher tasks and i fail badly in them,i feel like a big loser and i am a loser so far in life

First order of business is to realize that even if you feel like you've failed so far, that doesn't mean you'll always fail.

Second is to understand that if you recognize that you pick up big tasks and don't handle them well, then you're halfway to solving the problem.

Without knowing the specifics of your life, here's something that helps me:

I take a piece of paper and divide it into 2 or 3 long sections and title them, " Tolerations," "Next Step," and "Time to Solve".

The Tolerations heading is where I list all the things about my life that are irritating me that I haven't fixed because of procrastination or because I'm just "tolerating" the hardship.

The "Next Step" heading is where I list next to each toleration what the next step in fixing it will be.

In the "Time to Solve" heading, I list how long I estimate each thing to take.

Now you have a more comprehensive to-do list. You can further sub-divide it out by taking another piece of paper and writing about the parts involved in each toleration.

This sounds incredibly silly, but what was even sillier to me was to find out how many things I was tolerating that really only took 5 minutes to fix. And crossing things off the list with a fat highlighter was really satisfying. Plus, when you have a plan, you get distracted less easily.

So say you want to tackle a huge(ish) project like cleaning out a closet. Instead of getting lost in the morass, you could survey the closet and write out a plan. List ALL of the things you'll need to get the job done so that you don't leave it half-finished (like "bags for donations", and "boxes to put stuff in" and "packing tape"). Then gather some granola bars, some water, and all your supplies in a neat area and start. Keep the list next to you when you start the project so that if you do run across a supply you need but don't have, you can quickly write it down and get it SOON.

This is how I tackle big baking projects: list, then write out a plan for when things will be baking during the day (some cakes or cookies bake at the same temp, so you can double up!) then set all the measured ingredients out BEFORE I start so that I can make sure I have everything I need. I keep white boards around the house or chalkboards so I can easily write down shopping lists.

I'm finding that this method works well for life: I can create a plan for school, or my local atheist group, etc. Even if nothing gets done immediately, the plan is there, and we determine what factors we're waiting on or what the next step will be. It's very helpful, and makes for a much less stressful time.