Would you be flattered if a gay person said they fancied you?

[Pyrrho]

I think you are right to be concerned about how a homophobe may react.  My "flirting" experiment suggests that if the person is homophobic, they are not going to like it.  (Though if they are a closeted gay person, which is more than just a little bit possible, they might be conflicted and simultaneously like it.)

It's not so much about wanting to know how they'd react. I know that already. But rather just wanting to understand them. Part of the problem is that some homophobia may be due to having gay feelings but some of it may not be that at all.

I can't help but think that the root of the problem is religious indoctrination.  Places where the major religion has a problem with homosexuality, the people react badly to it.  But in places where the religions do not have a problem with it (like ancient Greece), people don't seem to have a problem with it.  I don't know any exceptions to this.

Now, before someone tells me about how they gave up their religion or whatever, just because one gives up one's religion, that does not mean that one has extracted all of the beliefs and attitudes that they had because of their religion.  Also, a dominant religion impacts the society as a whole, so one may be influenced by a religion without ever having been a member.  I seem to recall reading somewhere that Jews who live in countries with lots of Christians are much more likely to make a bid deal out of Hanukkah than those who live in countries without a large Christian population.  The explanation I was told was that it was a reaction to Christmas, to have a celebration at about the same time as the society as a whole.  Otherwise, Hanukkah is not one of the more important Jewish holidays.

As for homophobic people being secretly gay, that makes a lot of sense because otherwise, why care about it?  It is what impacts you that you are most likely to care deeply about.  Also, I remember reading about a study in which men were asked about their attitudes toward homosexuality, and, generally speaking, the ones who were most homophobic seemed to be gay.  Their level of gayness was determined by putting sensors on their penises and showing them gay porn.  Homophobes tend to get erections from gay porn, whereas straight guys who are not homophobes don't.