RE: Are you scared of flying?
July 7, 2015 at 11:43 pm
(This post was last modified: July 7, 2015 at 11:44 pm by SteelCurtain.)
I have some pretty epic flying stories from travelling so much in the Navy.
My best is probably getting a beej in the airplane lav.
I listen to this podcast called Keith and the Girl, which is a crass (but awesome) comedy podcast that has been doing shows for over ten years now. Like, before podcasting was really a thing. Anyhow, they used to have this thing in the early days called "Suck a Dick Wednesday." It was a response to an Opie and Anthony thing, Fuck a friend Friday or something like that. Anyhow, the deal was, you're a girl and see a guy wearing a KATG shirt or gear on Wednesday, and you let him know you are a fan as well by blowing him. It was a joke, and not really ever meant to actually happen.
I was flying home for Thanksgiving, and I wasn't even wearing a shirt. I was listening to KATG on my iPod, and at the beginning of every episode is an intro jingle "Hey all you assholes come and listen to us, it's the Keith and the Girl Show." My iPod was blasting and the hot chick next to me heard it, and saw the KATG logo on the iPod. She didn't even take a beat. She just tapped me on the arm, pulled my earbud out, and whispered in my ear, "meet me in the bathroom."
Now, I'm not the type of guy that does this kind of thing. I thought she was hot when I sat down next to her, but I never thought about her blowing me in the bathroom of a 737. But now she's in there, and I am thinking about if I don't go in there, and how awkward the rest of the plane ride would be if I didn't. I was also thinking about herpes for like a nanosecond before I got up and went to the bathroom. Now there are two lavatories in the aft of a 737, and both were occupied. You don't knock on a fucking door that has a sign that says there's someone in there. My mind was spinning a little about getting the wrong one, then knocking on the other one as the angry person comes out and sees me go into the other lav with a hot chick and a smirk. Then she apparently was getting bored in there as I was trying to choose which door to knock on. She came out, saw me, yanked me in, and proceeded to give me a mediocre beej and a fantastic story.
My best is probably getting a beej in the airplane lav.
I listen to this podcast called Keith and the Girl, which is a crass (but awesome) comedy podcast that has been doing shows for over ten years now. Like, before podcasting was really a thing. Anyhow, they used to have this thing in the early days called "Suck a Dick Wednesday." It was a response to an Opie and Anthony thing, Fuck a friend Friday or something like that. Anyhow, the deal was, you're a girl and see a guy wearing a KATG shirt or gear on Wednesday, and you let him know you are a fan as well by blowing him. It was a joke, and not really ever meant to actually happen.
I was flying home for Thanksgiving, and I wasn't even wearing a shirt. I was listening to KATG on my iPod, and at the beginning of every episode is an intro jingle "Hey all you assholes come and listen to us, it's the Keith and the Girl Show." My iPod was blasting and the hot chick next to me heard it, and saw the KATG logo on the iPod. She didn't even take a beat. She just tapped me on the arm, pulled my earbud out, and whispered in my ear, "meet me in the bathroom."
Now, I'm not the type of guy that does this kind of thing. I thought she was hot when I sat down next to her, but I never thought about her blowing me in the bathroom of a 737. But now she's in there, and I am thinking about if I don't go in there, and how awkward the rest of the plane ride would be if I didn't. I was also thinking about herpes for like a nanosecond before I got up and went to the bathroom. Now there are two lavatories in the aft of a 737, and both were occupied. You don't knock on a fucking door that has a sign that says there's someone in there. My mind was spinning a little about getting the wrong one, then knocking on the other one as the angry person comes out and sees me go into the other lav with a hot chick and a smirk. Then she apparently was getting bored in there as I was trying to choose which door to knock on. She came out, saw me, yanked me in, and proceeded to give me a mediocre beej and a fantastic story.
"There remain four irreducible objections to religious faith: that it wholly misrepresents the origins of man and the cosmos, that because of this original error it manages to combine the maximum servility with the maximum of solipsism, that it is both the result and the cause of dangerous sexual repression, and that it is ultimately grounded on wish-thinking." ~Christopher Hitchens, god is not Great
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