Reading the bible: please help!
April 24, 2018 at 4:32 am
(This post was last modified: April 24, 2018 at 4:35 am by ignoramus.)
Genesis 1:6
Basically, God decided to create the sky (a solid dome - "hard as a molten mirror"), so that there was something separating all that damn water which the entire universe is made of. The sky occasionally opens it's windows so that some water can come through - this is why it rains.
Essentially, when NASA launch their rockets, they go "bonk!" against the sky dome and fall back down again, and the reason nobody has been on Mars is because they all drowned on the way.
Genesis 1:16
It all sounds well and good, doesn't it? God makes the sun to light the day, and the moon for night-time. Yes, it would indeed be all well and good, if he hadn't already created and named light, dark, day and night two days ago.
It would seem that God finished creating days on the third day... So where the hell did the first two come from?
Deuteronomy 22:10
WTF? Someone please explain
Deuteronomy 23:1
That's right girls! No dickie and plums, no entry! Don't even ask about what customs is like when you get there!
Quote:"And God said, Let there be a firmament in the midst of the waters, and let it divide the waters from the waters."
Basically, God decided to create the sky (a solid dome - "hard as a molten mirror"), so that there was something separating all that damn water which the entire universe is made of. The sky occasionally opens it's windows so that some water can come through - this is why it rains.
Essentially, when NASA launch their rockets, they go "bonk!" against the sky dome and fall back down again, and the reason nobody has been on Mars is because they all drowned on the way.
Genesis 1:16
Quote:"And God made two great lights; the greater light to rule the day, and the lesser light to rule the night: he made the stars also."
It all sounds well and good, doesn't it? God makes the sun to light the day, and the moon for night-time. Yes, it would indeed be all well and good, if he hadn't already created and named light, dark, day and night two days ago.
It would seem that God finished creating days on the third day... So where the hell did the first two come from?
Deuteronomy 22:10
Quote:"Thou shalt not plow with an ox and an ass together."
WTF? Someone please explain
Deuteronomy 23:1
Quote:"He that is wounded in the stones, or hath his privy member cut off, shall not enter into the congregation of the LORD."
That's right girls! No dickie and plums, no entry! Don't even ask about what customs is like when you get there!
No God, No fear.
Know God, Know fear.
Know God, Know fear.
