Chritstianity ruined my life tbh
May 19, 2012 at 10:39 am
(This post was last modified: May 19, 2012 at 10:43 am by zentor.)
I became xtian at 16 , I'm 23 now, and before I was a happy normal guy
But that is when my mental problems started. Id randomly start crying and wanted to die.
Joined airforce after hs, got discharged after a year for suicidal personality.
Worked like 6 jobs that year, all fired/quit from mental breakdowns.
Been trying to do college, I join every year but havnt finished a semster cuz the breakdowns.
And I have been in treatment sincfe my af discharge. I do my best but I know god hates me and wants me to suffrr
I even try being agnostic but he still fuks me
I finally got a job at retail, yesterday wsa my second day and I again became suicidal and just left.
I can't live and I can't die - this is truly being fuked by god. There is no escape for me. Or hope. My grandma always told me, when god punishes us, he ties us up first so we can't escape.
If god loves me, why did he make me bipolar?
Tthats like telling a friend, "let me cut off one of ur arms, but its cool cuz ill help u do stuff sometimes"
But that is when my mental problems started. Id randomly start crying and wanted to die.
Joined airforce after hs, got discharged after a year for suicidal personality.
Worked like 6 jobs that year, all fired/quit from mental breakdowns.
Been trying to do college, I join every year but havnt finished a semster cuz the breakdowns.
And I have been in treatment sincfe my af discharge. I do my best but I know god hates me and wants me to suffrr
I even try being agnostic but he still fuks me
I finally got a job at retail, yesterday wsa my second day and I again became suicidal and just left.
I can't live and I can't die - this is truly being fuked by god. There is no escape for me. Or hope. My grandma always told me, when god punishes us, he ties us up first so we can't escape.
If god loves me, why did he make me bipolar?
Tthats like telling a friend, "let me cut off one of ur arms, but its cool cuz ill help u do stuff sometimes"
