Hall of wit and epicness.

[Mystical]

Cinjin, I know you've been wanting in here lately, and this post to me was just priceless (and epic!)

[quote='Drich' pid='590337' dateline='1390611065']

I'm totally kidding. You have taught me how to A/S/K god to show me the truth and I finally see it. I'm so glad he chose such a great messenger such as yourself. I mean he could've chosen a man of great love and faith, but instead he chose a belligerent uneducated filthy apologist to show his mighty hand. Tell your wife she was wrong. You shouldn't be apologizing for anything. You should be accepting an award as World's Greatest Christian. Your double talk, verbal gymnastics and outright back-peddling has shown me that there is NOTHING too big or no argument too great for the one and only almighty Jehovah to overcome with a humble servant such as yourself.

What denomination are you? Because THAT'S the only christian denomination for me. You guys have got it figured out, and clearly the rest of the christian denominations are heretics. You should show all your fellow parishioners this posting so that they can see the amazing work you've been doing here.


What I've learned from Drich about Christianity:

1. Yahweh does NOT love everyone.
2. If you don't know how to properly look for god, you may not find him.
3. Human sacrifice is not human sacrifice ... unless it is. See a True Christian™ to know the difference.
4. God's plan may involve a LOT of death, disease and suffering.
5. Little children are not "little" at all and sometimes its perfectly acceptable to kill "teenagers" with bears.
6. Hell isn't really hell, but there is a hell and all the non-believers are going there.
7. If Yahweh is really pleased about how much you love him, he may allow the devil to kill everyone you love.
8. It is very likely that god does NOT have a plan for the great majority of people in the world.
9. If you were a Christian, and didn't find Jesus, you were never a Christian. See #2
.....and this is the most important thing I've learned from Drich about Christianity:
10. The almighty creator of the universe, who has the ability to be everywhere at any time and even remains inside the bodies of the most devout believers - would rather send an incompetent self-righteous boob to a tiny website rather than just reveal himself to everyone.


Awesome. When's my next lesson Drich? I'm ready to start spreading the good news to all my friends and family. I just need some more of that sweet guidance you give here. I must continue your work.