RE: The Last Movie You Watched
February 20, 2020 at 1:21 am
(This post was last modified: February 20, 2020 at 1:33 am by Rev. Rye.)
This week in the Deep Hurting Project: Izzie's Way Home. Basically, it's a mockbuster of Finding Nemo, a film damn near everyone and their grandma loves.
YOu know what, here's a little tidbit for you: while looking for a Spongebob Wiki article on "Hooky" to link to, I discovered this little tidbit:
The fishermen? Famed director Jim Jarmusch and repeated early collaborator John Lurie. It was part of a show called Fishing with John, the only fishing show good enough to make the Criterion Collection (yes, I own the DVD), and this was from an episode where they hunted sharks off the coast of Montauk. Scene in question starts about 17 minutes in:
There are also episodes with Willem Dafoe, Matt Dillon, Dennis Hopper, and Tom Waits. Somehow, I failed to connect the two in my mind until about ten minutes ago.
- The first line is "It's time." Said repeatedly. It's like that one song from Veggietales where the Israelites celebrated the end of the 40 years of wandering and sing a song starting "It's Time! It's Time! Did He just say it's Time?" Except this goes on for longer and there's no catchy song-and-dance number.
- A fish spawn having only FOUR eggs... And they devote the first few minutes to them hatching verrry sloooowlllllyy... And somehow, it's only when the last one hatches that our Not-Marlon finally decides he's a Dad. And they name her Isabella. Isabel for short.
- They're talking about hiding Izzie from the humans who own the tank... WHILE THE HUMAN IS CLEARLY VISIBLE IN THE BACKGROUND AND SHE'S CLEARLY IN PLAIN SIGHT.
- How do they know the siginficance of the map of the coral reef and volcano?
- Is it weird that Izzie's birthmark (which is the reason Izzie's supposed to stay out of sight) is the least ugly thing about her?
- Fucking Hell, this water looks hideous. There's a reason it took several years for Pixar to even include it in Monsters Inc.
- Well, this looks like it was going a different way than I was expecting. Apparently, these captive fish are sent into the ocean by a tidal wave... and they were on a boat... THAT WAS RIGHT NEXT TO A FUCKING OPEN WINDOW.
- While the lip-sync isn't quite as bad as Kiara the Brave, the actual mouth movements look lazy as all Fuck. This is as much as I should expect from the Asylum, I guess.
- You know, if I was that into marine biology, I'm sure I could find a ton of shit to nitpick. Like the fact that there's an anglerfish that lives in normal depths. Or that the seahorse has a massive bulge that makes only sense if you assume she's pregnant... even though seahorses are famous for HAVING MALE PREGNANCIES. Although, to be fair, she's apparently just obsessed with her weight despite having no stomach (So, she's like a Titan with a brain?), talking about losing a few extra ounces... although (and this is a deeper cut) the average weight of a seahorse is 4-10 grams...
- "You hit him in the face with your intestines?" And it apparently came out of his... fucking Hell, Chuck Palahniuk wrote a story about shit like this...
- Why do they spend so much time ignoring the lionfish when it's heading straight for them?
- FISH HAVING FUCKING LUNGS? FISH HAVING FUCKING LUNGS? Yes, I know that there are lungfish, but A) the fish in question is clearly not a lungfish, and B) lungfish are FRESHWATER fish who do not belong in the ocean.
- You know, there was a certain level of ignorance I was willing to accept from Izzie, her being an aquarium fish. But the fact that she decided to go and latch herself on a hook WITHOUT BAIT (and not having the courtesy of being named SpongeBob SquarePants or Patrick Star) really pimp-slaps my willing suspension of disbelief. Also, I'm not sure that traditional fish hooks are all that effective in the middle of the ocean.
- Why does the scene of these elderly eels take so fucking long? Because they had to stretch it out to 76 minutes and 59 seconds? Fucking Hell, that's why the pacing of the movie was so fucking slow. And why Not-Marlon's scenes seem to have no bearing on the rest of the film.
- You know, seeing the dolphins as the bad guys is actually an interesting twist.
- Why don't they just move around the fucking volcano?
YOu know what, here's a little tidbit for you: while looking for a Spongebob Wiki article on "Hooky" to link to, I discovered this little tidbit:
The fishermen? Famed director Jim Jarmusch and repeated early collaborator John Lurie. It was part of a show called Fishing with John, the only fishing show good enough to make the Criterion Collection (yes, I own the DVD), and this was from an episode where they hunted sharks off the coast of Montauk. Scene in question starts about 17 minutes in:
There are also episodes with Willem Dafoe, Matt Dillon, Dennis Hopper, and Tom Waits. Somehow, I failed to connect the two in my mind until about ten minutes ago.
Comparing the Universal Oneness of All Life to Yo Mama since 2010.
I was born with the gift of laughter and a sense the world is mad.
I was born with the gift of laughter and a sense the world is mad.