RE: The Last Movie You Watched
February 25, 2020 at 12:32 am
(This post was last modified: February 25, 2020 at 12:32 am by Rev. Rye.)
This week in the Deep Hurting Project: Daddy Day Camp. It's widely considered one of the worst sequels of all time. I watched the original film, Daddy Day Care shortly after it came out (it was advertised non-stop on Nick when it came out.) Besides the "I Missed" scene that's been permanently burned into my brain, the only things I remembered about it are preposterous fact that the ONLY options for daycare pre Daddy Day Camp are Victorian Boarding School In All But Name and Glorified Baby Farms and the MILF played by Leila Arcieri. Rewatching the original, I found it decent, at least given that it's a movie for little kids and nobody else. Bur it made a lot of money, so, they made a sequel.
- Common cast and crew: 1 screenwriter, 2 producers, 2 sound people, 1 person in insurance, the four co-writers of The Jackson 5's "I Want You Back" (used in both films) and The Jackson 5 themselves. Not a single cast member reprised their role. Not even that MILF. Hey, has there ever been a sequel with no original cast members that actually did well?
- The first few minutes have a kid dropping a cake, a kid peeing into a houseplant, Not-Jeff-Garlin eating a bug, and this is going to set the tone for the rest of the movie, isn't it?
- "You're Crazy Morty." Please do not remind me of much better shows while I'm watching something for the Deep Hurting Project.
- '77 Olympiad? '77 Olympiad?
- So, wait, does not-Eddie-Murphy like Camp Driftwood or not?
- And why is Camp Driftwood still running if it has no kids? Why didn't it just say it closed down?
- Bathrooms with dangerous methane. This sounds like foreshadowing.
- These have to be the least believable kids I've ever heard in a film. They're either talking in pop culture references that will be dated in a few years, talking in slang nobody has used, being disturbingly sexualised (one kid says "I don't want to go to camp, I want to stay at home and watch nudie movies with you"), or maybe talking in bizarrely expositional dialogue.
- Also, one of the kids is seen falling on love with one of the other girls, and he's got a Vertigo shot that he's clearly just been blue-screened into for some reason, and then, as soon as it's over, he just goes back to his PSP. Dafuq?
- Wait, is Not-Screech supposed to be Steve Zahn's character? Okay, it's apparently a different character. He just has a similar niche, and they didn't bother to set up that he's a different character. All of a sudden, he's just there, handing out flyers for Daddy Day Camp.
- So, Lance Warner is trash-talking Not-Eddie-Murphy without even knowing who he is?
- Damn, that was a clean break. One kick to the Snack Booth, and the walls and I think part of the roof falls to the sides and the structure somehow remains intact?
- Okay, I was fully expecting the methane explosion in the outhouses to cover everyone in shit. And nobody did. So, I guess that's one thing in its favour. Or a sign that it's too tame to pull off its gross-out.
- Why is there so much time devoted to minutiae about money?
- Using a ragged American Flag for a background in an office? And just having the tattered edges just bunched on the right? Why do I get the feeling that ANY military man would be reprimanded for shit like that?
- So, Not-Jeff-Garlin forgets that he manoeuvered these kids away from Poison Ivy yesterday, only to make the same mistake the next day?
- So, Not-Eddie-Murphy is inspired to buy the camp solely because of Lance Warner, and yet, when Warner comes around, he doesn't want to take part in this rivalry. Can they make up their mind about his relationship with Lance Warner?
- Colonel Hinton really fucking sucks at being a Colonel. Why teach samurai meditation when they need to attack around 5? You'd think getting that money
- Why are they calling out Bingo Numbers in the middle of a raid?
- How did Warner get locked out of his cabin?
- And when his pants were carabiniered to the jeep, his pants just got ripped off immediately? And he wears Hardees-themed underwear?
- And why was Not-Eddie-Murphy kept in the dark about the raid on Camp Canola?
- And what is with Lance Warner's insistence on antagonising Not-Eddie-Murphy's camp? In the original, Angelica Huston only cared about Daddy Day Care when it started to get big. This time, it's a total clusterfuck, and he's still fucking with Not-Eddie-Murphy for no reason.
- Now it's basically just a paint-by-numbers camp movie. Fuck it, I'm going to look at a video about the backs to bolo ties:
- Now that we've been educated about the pros and cons of three main types of backs to bolo ties, I have to ask: How the fuck is Warner expecting to get away with Camp Canola cheating so blatantly (starting fires with gasoline, greasing the walls, and setting up trip wires during the three-legged race?)
Comparing the Universal Oneness of All Life to Yo Mama since 2010.
I was born with the gift of laughter and a sense the world is mad.
I was born with the gift of laughter and a sense the world is mad.