This week in the Deep Hurting Project: Show Dogs. Funny thing about this is, the thing that truly pushed the movie into the "So Bad It's Horrible" category (besides looking like a shitty Direct-to-DVD movie that somehow got a cinema release) was removed from the movie after the first week or so in theaters. Fortunately, this YouTube video has preserved them in admittedly less-than-stellar quality.
Somehow, there have to have been hundreds of people involved in making this scene, and until a Mommy Vlogger raised concerns about this little character arc, not one seemed concerned that maybe having an arc where the protagonist of this kid's movie learns to lie back and think of Will Arnett re-enacting Dirty Dancing while a strange man fondles his bollocks so he can be rewarded for it is a bad idea, especially when, during post-production, Harvey Weinstein was outed as a rapist of Biblical proportions, and this (and the massive number of celebrities who got #MeTooed in its wake) led to a massive reckoning within Hollywood and its attitudes towards sexual assault. It's enough that maybe you would have been better off sending your kids to watch Deadpool 2. To be fair, it was removed from the US versions after about a week in theaters (apparently, the UK release STILL HAS THE SCENES), and the film's head writer apparently disavowed it (not helped by the fact that his original script was re-written by a baker's dozen other writers.)
Somehow, there have to have been hundreds of people involved in making this scene, and until a Mommy Vlogger raised concerns about this little character arc, not one seemed concerned that maybe having an arc where the protagonist of this kid's movie learns to lie back and think of Will Arnett re-enacting Dirty Dancing while a strange man fondles his bollocks so he can be rewarded for it is a bad idea, especially when, during post-production, Harvey Weinstein was outed as a rapist of Biblical proportions, and this (and the massive number of celebrities who got #MeTooed in its wake) led to a massive reckoning within Hollywood and its attitudes towards sexual assault. It's enough that maybe you would have been better off sending your kids to watch Deadpool 2. To be fair, it was removed from the US versions after about a week in theaters (apparently, the UK release STILL HAS THE SCENES), and the film's head writer apparently disavowed it (not helped by the fact that his original script was re-written by a baker's dozen other writers.)
- The first lines from the movie are delivered by pigeons who are A) somehow close enough to the main dog Max, a doberman voiced by Ludacris, that they act like a Greek chorus that narrates this police operation), B) are clearly shitty CGI, and C) Won't shut the fuck up. Good signs, I guess.
- Well, at least the panda smuggled by the baddies is called Ling Li, and not full-on Ling Ling.
On a lighter note, at least it looks like the Drawn Together movie was not bad enough for the Deep Hurting Project, since it was removed from TVTropes' So Bad It's Horrible/Animated Film list. - So, why is Max acting like a normal police officer and not just help like in real life? Why does he have no handler? And why doesn't he at least have the courtesy to let the Feds do their jobs when they do it?
- Goddammit, I think subscribing to Jim Can't Swim has ruined my ability to enjoy police interrogations in movies. And why the fuck are G.O.B., Bojack Horseman, and Lego Batman in this movie?
- Nobody's been making Talking Dog movies for a while... maybe it's because we figured out they were crap and this attempt at trying to revive it's hampered by, among other things, having the talking effects look just a shade above Clutch Cargo levels.
- And the film is aware of how absurd the whole "huge dog show being used as a front for rare animal smuggling" plot is.
- "With those jokes, you will not make any friends." And they're aware of how shitty their reliance on pop culture references makes them look.
- Also, it's weird that several of these show dogs are talking about neutering, especially considering that the whole reason dog show judges inspect these dogs' private parts in the first place is to make sure that their gonads are intact, and that, therefore, getting spayed or neutered (while likely a good idea otherwise) is career suicide for a show dog.
- Also, there's a scene where Will Arnett's getting an offer to breed Max (Ludacris' dog character) with a Mexican Hairless Dog who's not only voiced by RuPaul, but made up in such a way that it's virtually impossible to not conclude that it's the canine equivalent of a drag queen. Dafuq?
- Dafuq? Why are the pigeons in Las Vegas now? And how did they fly 2000 miles in one day?
- And now we have yet another example of the "winning a competition by not giving a shit about the rules" trope.
- So, they took out all the stuff surrounding the judge's inspecting Max' genitalia, so the cheering that happened after the judge's inspection seems kind of out of place.
- LOL GEDDIT! THA TIGER MENSHUNS DA LIF O PI BECUZ THE TIGR IS INDN N DA LIF UV PE IS SOMETHIN DAT EXITS! GEDDIT? I BET U DONT U FUCKERS! Seriously, that's the level of comedy the movie's given us.
Comparing the Universal Oneness of All Life to Yo Mama since 2010.
I was born with the gift of laughter and a sense the world is mad.
I was born with the gift of laughter and a sense the world is mad.