RE: The Last Movie You Watched
November 8, 2020 at 10:51 pm
(This post was last modified: November 8, 2020 at 11:28 pm by Rev. Rye.)
Well, since I didn't get any recs from the horror films list I posted last week, in commemoration of the election, and in hopes that this time around, Trump's malfeasance repeats itself as farce rather than tragedy, I've chosen The Life Zone. It's a pro-life propaganda film that's probably the biggest cinematic Own Goal since the Nazi Titanic movie. And it gets stranger when you look at the director, Kenneth Del Vecchio. He's made a few other films, some of them even more cracked than this, like, say, a movie where he plays Barack Obama as a college student who sells his soul to Satan to become president (he's a pudgy middle-aged white guy, by the by), or another movie where he manages to fold a movie about the Aurora shooting (one with no less than four titles), with (I wish I was making this up), a Christmas movie about a kid who thinks if he earns a black belt before Christmas, his father will come back to him. But those two movies are not on Prime, and this one is.
And if you want to know how to stop abortion, unhide this spiel:
If anyone wants to respond to this, while my words don't have much weight as a non-mod, I'd advise you to either keep the subject to this movie, or start up your own damn thread.
Next week, as promised, will be Sean Connery's last movie: Sir Billi.
- SpOOoOoOoOKY! Glass bottles we can't tell the context of.
- So, about 7 1/2 minutes into the film, we get some clue of what's going on. Robert Loggia plays this guy who's basically Jigsaw, except that instead of killing people with certain vices, he's kidnapping pregnant women who are considering abortions and forcing them to carry their pregnancies to term.
- Also, I get the feeling that he looks like a representation of Satan by a director who thinks he's being clever by putting him in the body of an old man in a black suit. I wonder if that will mean something.
- "What does he mean, Ms. Posey? If you remember your last whereabouts and that can help us, then tell us." Good fucking God this dialogue is stilted as fuck.
- A zombie like state, but aware of everything? That's not how zombies work.
- What about god's rights? He's not going to do anything, so why does it?
- Also, you're seriously going to have Aunt Ruth from The Girl Next Door and the useless mom from 16 Candles play this woman who's supposed to be the voice of reason?
- One girl implies she was being pressured into having an abortion by her abusive boyfriend, but apparently, she's still culpable for everything.
- Wait, they're all supposed to give birth to their babies at the same time? That's one hell of a coincidence.
- So, what happens to kill time before they give birth? Feed them pro-life propaganda, and by pro-life propaganda, we mean a video of vox pops of people saying their opinion on abortion. And the fact that abortion is a polarising issue is supposed to be a revelation.
- And what I want to know is what's happening with their boyfriends/husbands. You'd think at least someone would try and find them in the intervening six-plus months.
- Also, they've been implanted with some device that uses electrodes to release a "harmless anaesthetic" that will get them to pass out once they get ten feet from the door. And this is somehow won't harm the baby, even though anaesthetics do, in fact, increase a risk of miscarriage.
- And after we get debriefed on what's happening, we see this random montage of Nazi atrocities, slabs of ribs being passed, ceremonies from I think Burma, clips of Nosferatu, and insects, and the only thing I'm thinking is surely, a Quantum Mechanics professor is working out a striptease.
- When does this mass of cells magically become a human being? I'd say when it finally develops a nervous system, which is about four months into pregnancy.
- Splitting hairs about the many babies who were aborted because they were viable in 2009 (5 months) and not 1973 (6 months) isn't much good, when you consider that the vast majority of abortions take place in the first trimester.
- And they're turning it into a seven-month abortion think tank, but the best thing they can do is the director in a baseball cap hashing it out with someone I think is supposed to be his dad.
- Or you can argue the pro-choice position by talking about the days before Roe v. Wade when abortion was illegal. Or you can look at some case studies on Wikipedia's "Abortion in Ireland" page. Or you can look at this copypasta by a social worker that I'm going to put in the end. And you don't even have to convince people that abortion is right, just that outlawing it is a horrible idea that only makes it worse.
- So, one woman's loved ones ARE AWARE OF THIS HORSESHIT and their only responses to their daughter being falsely imprisoned against her will and their biggest takeaway from all this is "I'm so happy I'm going to have a grandchild"? You know, I'm shocked that I'm invoking Jesse Custer in the Project, but I have to ask, Jesse, help a brother out will you?
- And it's the same with another of the women, with her boyfriend going so far as saying that "this was a mutual decision." And somehow, even lawyers are treating this like it's a fucking pregnancy retreat.
- So, who the fuck thought it would be a good idea to put a woman seven months pregnant on a ladder, especially when you're trying to force her to carry it to term.
- And subjecting us to the sound of babies crying is supposed to make us to sympathise with them?
- Finally! We have a friend of the three women who acts normally to their friend being kidnapped, and calling these fuckers what they are: terrorists. But, of course, that doesn't quite cover it.
- And remember when I said this movie is the biggest own goal in cinematic history? It turns out that the big twist, which comes after two of the three women give birth, and one attempts to force a miscarriage, is that this whole thing was created to torture the one woman who ended up miscarrying. It turns out that she died during her abortion, and the two others were imaginary. And it turns out that they were in Hell all along. And Robert Loggia? Satan. Yes, this pro-life propaganda movie is proudly casting its own side as kidnappers, torturers, and, oh, yeah, Satanic fuckers who care more about forcing women to carry their pregnancies to term than anything else.
And if you want to know how to stop abortion, unhide this spiel:
If anyone wants to respond to this, while my words don't have much weight as a non-mod, I'd advise you to either keep the subject to this movie, or start up your own damn thread.
Next week, as promised, will be Sean Connery's last movie: Sir Billi.
Comparing the Universal Oneness of All Life to Yo Mama since 2010.
I was born with the gift of laughter and a sense the world is mad.
I was born with the gift of laughter and a sense the world is mad.