This week's addendum to the Deep Hurting Project: Rapsittie Street Kids: Believe in Santa. So, the story behind this special is kind of odd: Apparently, one of the producers was in the Church of Scientology, and he was high enough to have connections with Nancy Cartwright, who eventually helped bring on legitimate talent like Mark Hamill, Paige O'Hara, Jodi Benson, and Grey Delisle, Clint Howard, April Winchell, and others (one of which I will explain later). They hired Wolf Tracer Studios to animate it, apparently on the strength of their character designs. They gave it a blank check for $500,000, and they trusted them enough that they didn't even look at the animation until it aired on the WB in December 2002. It was so bad, so fundamentally broken, that for 12 1/2 years, many people wondered if they hallucinated the whole thing until it was uploaded in full to Vimeo.
- 0:02: Why, yes, this is the level of animation we're going to be
- 0:37: This music is far too good for this special. And far too dark and epic for a slice-of-life story.
- 1:13: And it looks like this thing was made in MS Paint.
- 1:58: This has to be the fakest-looking walking I've ever seen in CGI. This is at "Money For Nothing" levels, and they at least had the excuse of it being 1985!
- 7:04: I'm ready to skate bigger and faster than my Mom can make the biggest sandwiches in the world. What kind of brag is that?
- 8:00: Okay, in addition to all the famous voice actors, I should point out that they apparently planned to release a soundtrack album with music by none other than Whitney Houston. It's never been released.
- 8:28: So, he slides all the way onto the ice when he's nowhere near it, all from the force of a single snowball hit.
- 10:26: Also, the fat kid's carrying around a sandwich everywhere. He never takes a bite out of it. He just carries it around everywhere. Dafuq?
- 11:25, 13:53: The sole criterion of a good gift is its coming from the mall. Evidently, even the shit people throw into the trash at the food court counts.
- 11:40: Well, that's a shitty message: bullying is love.
- 14:14: Somehow, that side image is terrifying me.
- 15:15: A really big store that starts with a W. Is Walmart seriously your stamp of quality?
- 15:41: So, here's the thing with Great-Grandma. She was originally voiced by MadTV's Debra Wilson, and, when they originally recorded it, she was actually speaking actual words. Somehow, however, the audio files got corrupted, and now we get this bizarre Boomhauer shit, with the occasional intelligible line or two coming through, so it's like "fdbnsdundimspgesmggienweoumerpmeg,gp CHRISTMAS!" Somehow, Wolf Tracer didn't even notice it until it aired. And now, the most cited film in the Project makes its return:
- 17:25: I'm sure that this walk cycle reminds me of something.
- 18:13: So, she makes fun of her friend for believing in Santa, and she still believes in Santa? Is this hypocrisy or just shitty writing?
- 23:13: This needs some death metal so bad.
- 25:05: How is being scared of an imaginary spider blackmail material? And why is this basement sequence even there?
- 27:16: Goddammit, I wish we didn't have the three-videos-per-post limit. I'd be showing off the junkyard scene from Stand By Me, but I won't because I've got something to share for the end. So, I'll just say "Chopper, Sic Balls!" Though this wouldn't really work when most of the trespassees don't have balls.
- 32:24: Well, how about that? They actually get to the subject of believing in Santa, just like the title promised.
- 36:38: Turn around, Lenee. Does the animation budget not extend to turning around?
- 37:44: Wow, three consecutive sentences from Great-Grandma that weren't just "dbsjbnsdobmpmesmtunuiwomwigneiu CHRISTMAS!"
- 38:16: Wait, Santa? In the middle of the fucking day? Long after presents had been delivered?
- 38:53: Wait, where did she get the reindeer? Did they find it in the junkyard, too?
- 37:01: Gee, good thing those kids didn't approach that horse in his blind spot.
- 41:46: About that sequel they advertised: There's some evidence indicating that it aired in 2003, but, strangely, it turns out it never got past the first draft before Wolf Tracer ceased operations.
- 41:53: Is that audio scrambled or is she just saying "goodbye" in a shitton of languages?
Comparing the Universal Oneness of All Life to Yo Mama since 2010.
I was born with the gift of laughter and a sense the world is mad.
I was born with the gift of laughter and a sense the world is mad.