This week's supplement to the Deep Hurting Project: Dorbees: Making Decisions, a Veggietales ripoff from the Gaither Brothers. I was going to go into more detail, but I accidentally deleted my progress two-thirds of the way in again and now I have to redo it.
- 0:00: Music by The Caretaker.
- 0:30: Oh, I'm sorry, it's just a really lethargic version of Also Sprach Zarathustra
- 1:24: Hey, turn the music down, we can't hear what he's saying.
- 1:38: And of course, this animation looks hideous.
- 1:47: And the big take away they want us to get from the franchise is "why don't they go away?" No wonder it only lasted this one video and Veggietales went on for over two decades.
- 2:05: Oh, fuck my cock.
- 2:42: I'm a man of wealth and tas- Oh, sorry, wrong franchise.
- 3:10: What the fuck is that thing? And why is Delta as aghast as I am? And how does he manage to change subjects five times in 40 seconds?
- 4:22: Are his eyelids going over his eyes?
- 5:32: Why do I get the feeling that I would still have no idea what this guy is talking about if they provided accurate captions?
- 5:39: The sum of the sides of a parallelogram is 90 degrees? There's so much wrong in that one statement I'm not even going to bother. That shit should have been in a third
- 5:43:
- 6:34: Man, that security system is going haywire with two kids just walking the halls. What if they actually were that sick and needed to leave class early?
- 6:57: She pulled that grappling hook out of her body. Why the fuck not?
- 7:52: And they're actively trying to kill their students with a steel version of the Raiders of the Lost Ark boulder. What next? Hiring the Terminator?
- 8:20: And he turned into a ball for no reason.
- 8:30: Why is that guy watching the same video we're watching? And how does Delta enter into this reality?
- 9:19: What does this story of a one-and-a-half-handed drummer have to do with anything?
- 9:48: An Ah-Nuld impersonator wearing barely anything enters this new place and immediately decides he needs new clothes. Fuck, this is the Terminator, isn't it?
- 10:45: Why is Digs about to rape Otto?
- 11:54: And the soft-spoken assistent has a more strident voice than Digs.
- 12:57: Huggy Bear? Please tell me he's not in this, too. Oh, well, I guess I'll have to wait for them to talk about snake-fucking.
- 13:42: The initial render of Silent Hill sure looked like shit, didn't it?
- 14:12: No, Jack, in order to remember that, I'd have to know what you're talking about.
- 14:22: Why is that pedestal there?
- 14:35: Why is there no audio?
- 15:50: Well, I'll be damned, this song is actually growing on me. This should have been rewritten and used in something better. Christ, even if it was a musical based on Milk Money and this was the song one of the kids sang to convince his two friends that going into the city to hire a prostitute and pay to see her naked. And, yes, not only was that an actual movie, it's on Amazon Prime.
- 16:53: Is her hair merging with her bow?
- 16:56: Wow, that was actually funny. It took almost halfway through this shit to eke out a chuckle.
- 17:16: So Dorbees are canonically just living balls. Okay.
- 18:20: No mention of the squirrel horn section? And what the shit kind of numbering is MCMVIIIX?
- 19:27: What's the point of carrying bags of pancakes on his back?
- 20:40: Chickens needed to be loved. No, that joke is too easy.
- 20:50: So, Mr. Poe and the Announcer have American accents, Dr. Dairy is French, and Yogul sounds like an Indian stereotype (though, given that Germany has a huge Turkish population and a stupefying amount of DOner Kebab restaurants, it may be Turkish). So, why are they German again?
- 20:59: Lewinskinating?
- 21:30: My God, he's been brainwashed to the point where he actually likes Bye Bye Birdy! And he forgot how to decline articles in German.
- 22:04: And now he's reached the Annie phase! Nothing can save him now!
- 23:09: I'm a pack rat and I don't carry all this shit around.
- 23:41: So your choices are to end world hunger, bring about world peace, and free Yogul. Why the fuck did you save Yogul? How is that making the right decision when you have the choice to keep people from starving to death or dying in wars and you just save your idiot friend? And why does a cartoon villain even have the option to do that?
- 24:36: A stun gun?
- 24:41: That's deer, idiot!
- 24:55: So, it's the light that's stopping him? Why use a car?
- 25:29:
- 25:37: Why is there a channel of just a lava lamp? And why is it more appealing than the show we're supposed to be watching? And why do I have to limit myself to 3 videos per post so I can't post one of those long-form videos of lava lamps?
- 25:55: And why is that freaky thing from 3 minutes in living in the lamp?
- 26:30: I used my "that was pointless" clip far too early.
- 27:28: is his Afro static?
- 27:35: He was Icelandic all along? And why are any of the clothes he tried on any more ridiculous-looking than what he came in wearing?
- 28:09: Also, is he Swedish or Icelandic? Because he can't be both. And that's a good lesson: if you emigrate from another nation, don't bother to try and fit in.
- 29:37: So, this sign pointing to Jimmy Hoffa is an astroball? What do those two have to do with each other? I spent 3 1/2 hours on The Irishman and Marty never mentioned that.
- 30:04: Fucking Hell, it's back!
- 30:43: So, you went into the house to get famous and make something of yourself, but when you need to get help, it's a dead option because everyone else will know you skipped school.
- 31:11: They deserved to almost die because they skipped school. A school that was actively teaching them wrong information and trying to kill them.
- 32:01: And now it's The Wiz?
- 33:02: Why does that monstrosity get to warp the laws of reality?
- 33:22: So, his name is Fleg?
- 33:37: So, for this Christian series, there's a surprising lack of Christianity. Just some token references to God.
- 34:18: They have three accordionists working with them and they can't even spell "accordion"?
Comparing the Universal Oneness of All Life to Yo Mama since 2010.
I was born with the gift of laughter and a sense the world is mad.
I was born with the gift of laughter and a sense the world is mad.