This week in the Deep Hurting PRoject is Best Night Ever, their one movie to not be a parody. Well, technically it's more of a ripoff.
- You know, I don't really do strippers, especially not male strippers, but are lap dances normally this... rapey?
- So, I thought this was going to be a ripoff of Project X, what with the found-footage conceit applied to a party about a comedy, but it seems to be more one for Bridesmaids and The Hangover, since it's specifically about a bachelorette party in Vegas.
- Also all the random angles really make it look like they're cheating the whole "found footage" thing.
- Has there even been much comedy in this movie so far? I don't know, besides the blonde being bizarrely hypersexual? And ladies, are you normally this excited by a dude's ballsack?
- And to think that in one of these rooms, Nicolas Cage is drinking himself to death.
- Why the fuck was whoever shot that load jacking off in shooting distance of the light socket? And can you actually jizz onto the ceiling? My own personal record for distance was right below my right armpit.
- And the blonde is leaving her two kids alone so she can go to Vegas and fuck so many guys that she looks like a dalmatian when she's under a blacklight? Is this what incels think women over the age of 25 are like? Is this the betabuxx myth? And how does an iPhone even get to do a proper blacklight effect?
- Yep. It's the same rapey-looking lap dance from the beginning. Were Seltzerberg that low on material?
- You know, I could just listen to "What's Up" by Four Non-Blondes in all the time for it take for this nothing to happen. Or find the My Dick Band cover version where most of the lyrics are "My Dick" over and over, which is somehow not on YouTube even though most of the rest of the album is.
- Well, at least it's all on tape, if she ever wants to re-live the abortion that was this attempted Bridal Shower
- So two people are going to take just some random pill that one of them took from an ambulance? I did not expect their survival instincts to be this shit.
- Well, at least, given that one of the girls is forced to go barefoot because a robber took her shoes, some foot stuff gets involved. Goddammit, why didn't this happen to me when I went to Vegas?
- Poke a girl with curly hair? What kind of list is that?
- A rapping pig? Is that anything like a rapping dog?
- Crap, this is like a stupid version of the Clutter family killings, isn't it?
- Is there a trope for someone who comes out of consciousness after a woman pees on him? Because I saw the exact same thing in Dance of Reality, except the woman was singing a high note at the same time.
- Is the fact that these women are hypocrites for decrying a bachelor party for infidelity when they're doing the same damn thing?
- So, is that it? Any real resolution? Any character development?
- How the fuck did that fat naked guy go down several stories faster than the elevator.?
- Okay, so now it's a horror movie. In the last ten minutes?
Comparing the Universal Oneness of All Life to Yo Mama since 2010.
I was born with the gift of laughter and a sense the world is mad.
I was born with the gift of laughter and a sense the world is mad.