This week in the Deep Hurting Project, Homeward, or as Tubi calls it, Elf Quest, the Asylum's ripoff of Pixar's Onward.
Next week, I'm thinking [i]Creepozoids[i].
Next week
- Sharp Tooth? I think you're referencing the wrong movie there.
- This had either better be a dream or they had better have a good reason why they're going into battle with a potted plant on their head.
- And of course, they're using the name Hermey for this elf. Of course.
- Is there a reason they're making this into a story about fantastic racism?
- The leading lady looks like a pointy-eared version of Mavis from Hotel Transylvania and has a name that sounds exactly like a famous rap producer. I know (because I keep subtitles on by default) it's technically spelled Forelle (which is German for "Trout"), but calling her Pharrell would be funnier.
- Huh, evidently Tom Green's moonlighting as Dr. Todd Grande. I hope the money he earned for this film went into paying for a re-release of Freddy Got Fingered.
- IS there a reason Barl can't just grab onto the barrel of waste while the principal's bouncing around?
- So, is there a reason that having a jackass brother will keep Lloyd from getting into a good college?
- New Orc City? That sounds like a low-effort pun. They don't even stop saying "New York City" sometimes.
- And in this world of fantasy creatures, why the fuck are there French lizards frogs?
- Cars that go by leaping into the air and landing miles away? That can't be safe. Either for the car or whatever it lands on. And seeing it in action just makes it all the more fucked.
- Sleep Dessert?
- Orc discount? I guess a lot of people are going to take it in New Orc City.
- And how did he not think of getting his wallet when he tried to play for that milkshake.
- Okay, now they've established that only elves are able to do magic, but now Barl can just use it?
- Our hero, abandoning his brother for personal reasons and just randomly decides to go against it?
- Nope, I haven't seen him. Well, I might have, since everyone shares the same ripoff of Wreck-It Ralph model.
- So, their penalty is making his parents adopt two adults?
- How does he not understand the ramifications of a phrase like "Orc Domination?"
- And the frogs are back again.
- Now we've gone from Bright to Booksmart? The latter of which is also on Tubi.
- I've been holding back on this, but the fact that the old lady mistook Lloyd for a woman reminds me of how much his model looks like Dylan Mulvaney. At least that model looks feminine enough.
- That slime barrel was still in the rafters after all this time?
- New Orc of Elfdale School? That really rolls off the tongue.
Next week, I'm thinking [i]Creepozoids[i].
Next week
Comparing the Universal Oneness of All Life to Yo Mama since 2010.
I was born with the gift of laughter and a sense the world is mad.
I was born with the gift of laughter and a sense the world is mad.